You & I
by McDimplesBaby
Summary: Will a one night stand bring about love for Arizona and Eliza or will their past AND present lives catch up with them?
1. Chapter 1

**You & I**

* * *

One

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _I need a strong drink._

Pushing through the door to a bar in town, I head straight for the counter and set my purse down. I've been at the world's worst conference all day and I'm not sure how I survived. The guy presenting...boring. By boring, I mean I wanted to cut my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon. I know it's a requirement of my job, but the thought of going back there tomorrow is only depressing me even more.

Like, would the boss know if I didn't show up? Does he have someone watching me? It's highly unlikely but I'm not the kind of person who doesn't show at meetings. I'm not the person who throws caution to the wind, doing her own thing. I'm there. I'm on time. I don't take a single sick day. I'm part of the company and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Catching the bartender's attention, he gives me a smile and throws a towel over his shoulder. "Not seen you in here before…"

"Visiting." I smile. "Conference downtown."

"Ah." He nods. "And now you need a large drink?"

"Oh yeah." Laughing, I pull myself up on a stool. "Scotch."

Disappearing, he prepares my drink and I relax back in my seat. This bar is a little crowded but it's only a small town. One I'm not sure anyone has left in the last twenty years. They seem very...set in their ways.

"Scotch." The bartender returns, setting a napkin down, followed by my drink. "Enjoy."

"Thank you." Taking a sip, I swivel in my seat, taking in the crowd around me. Most are casually dressed but a few are more...formal, maybe?

The sound of a track playing, a round of cheers and applause sound out, my brow furrowing. Sitting back and taking in the music, I cross my legs and tap my fingers on my thigh.

"What's going on here tonight?" I ask a guy standing next to me.

"Karaoke night." He shrugs. "You interested?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head, laughing. "I'll leave it to the professionals."

"You won't find any professionals in here, sweetheart." Taking his beer, he leaves the space beside me and disappears through the crowd. A blonde-haired woman climbing onto the small stage across the room, my attention is now fully on her.

 ** _It's been a long time since I came around  
Been a long time but I'm back in town  
And this time I'm not leaving without you_**

 ** _You taste like whiskey when you kiss me oh  
I'd give anything again to be your baby doll  
This time I'm not leaving without you_**

Okay, she's interesting. Interesting and hot. Sure, she looks kinda hammered but she's certainly holding my attention. There's no doubt about that. Narrowing my eyes slightly, my eyes trail her body, those black form-fitting jeans doing everything for her ass.

 ** _He said, "Sit back down where you belong  
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on  
Sit back down on the couch where we  
Made love the first time and you said to me,"  
There's..._**

 ** _Something, something about this place  
Something, something, 'bout lonely nights  
And my lipstick on your face  
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy  
Yeah, there's something about, baby, you and I_**

Clearing my throat when my body temperature rises, her eyes find mine and my mouth runs dry. _Why is she staring? How has she even noticed me?_ I mean, there's no one sitting behind me so it's me her eyes are on. _God, she's hot._

 ** _It's been two years since I let you go  
I couldn't listen to a joke or a Rock and Roll  
Muscle cars drove a truck right through my heart  
On my birthday you sang me "Heart of Gold"  
With a guitar humming and no clothes  
This time I'm not leaving without you_**

Throwing me a wink, my mouth hangs open as her eyes return to the screen in front of her. Her crisp white shirt partially open, I catch a glimpse of her black bra as she turns side on, my inability to form a thought causing me problems.

 ** _He said, "Sit back down where you belong  
In the corner of my bar with your high heels on  
Sit back down on the couch where we  
Made love the first time and you said to me,"  
There's..._**

 ** _There's something, something about this place  
Something, something, 'bout lonely nights  
And my lipstick on your face  
Something, something about my cool Nebraska guy  
Yeah, there's something about, baby, you and I_**

The blonde's eyes finding mine again, I take my scotch glass between my lips and watch her over the rim of it. If I don't do something to hide my mouth, I'm likely to drool. That wouldn't be good. Her mouth curling into a smile, I lower my glass and return one of my own. Her eyes holding mine longer than previously, I'm struggling to look anywhere but directly into them. _Wow._

 ** _You and I  
You, you and I  
You, you and I  
You, you and I, I  
You and I  
You, you and I  
Oh yeah, well, I'd rather die  
Without you and I, I  
C'mon! Put your drinks up!_**

 ** _We got a whole lot of money, but we still pay rent  
'Cause you can't buy a house in Heaven  
There's only three men that I'ma serve my whole life  
It's my daddy, and Nebraska, and Jesus Christ  
There's…_**

Okay, I don't like this. I don't like how she's just up there being so forward and flirty. I don't flirt in bars, _especially_ not with women I've never spoken two words to. This is wrong but God, she's making me feel good. _Aroused, too._

 ** _Something, something, something about the chase  
Six whole years  
I'm a New York woman born to run you down  
Still want my lipstick all over your face  
Something, something about  
Just knowing when it's right  
So put your drinks up, for Nebraska  
For Nebraska, Nebraska, I love ya_**

 ** _You and I  
You, you and I  
Baby, I'd rather die  
Without you and I, I  
You and I  
You, you and I  
Nebraska, I'd rather die  
Without you and I, I_**

Her ass resting against a speaker on the stage, the mysterious blonde crosses her legs at the ankles, her black heels catching my attention. Staring directly at me, a slight smirk on her mouth, she takes a breath and ends her song.

 ** _It's been a long time since I came around  
Been a long time, but I'm back in town  
And this time I'm not leaving without you_**

The crowd roaring, I drop my gaze and toy with the glass in my hands. I don't know what the hell her game is, but I need to take a moment to calm my breathing. I need to take a moment to finish my drink and leave. No good can come from flirting with the hot blonde, in a bar, in the middle of nowhere. _None._

Knocking back the remainder of my drink, I set the glass down on the bar and slip from my stool. Taking my purse, I fix it on my shoulder and turn to leave.

"Going somewhere?" Her voice a little raspy from singing, the blonde clears her throat and tries again. "I mean, it's only early…"

"Have to be up early tomorrow." I smile. "Great voice."

"Wanna dance?"

"Oh, no thanks." I hold up my hand. "I don't dance."

"How does someone like you _not_ dance?" The unknown blonde raises her eyebrow. "Maybe you should give it a try…"

"Thanks, but it's time for me to head off."

"Arizona…" She says. "Robbins."

"Nice to meet you, Arizona Robbins." I smile, turning on my heel. "Goodnight."

"Hey!" She follows me through the crowd and out onto the street. "I didn't catch your name." She grips my wrist.

"Why do you need to know my name?" I ask, my forehead creasing. "I'll never see you again…"

"Well, that sucks." She leans back against the wall, her arms folded across her chest. "You know, I'm only staying around the corner."

 _Um…_

"Did you want me to walk you to your hotel, or?" I don't know why I've just offered to do that, but I don't know what else she wants me to say. "You seem perfectly capable…"

"Depends." Arizona pushes off the wall, closing the distance. "Are you joining me for a drink back at my room?"

 _God, I want to. I want to, but I shouldn't._

"I don't think that's a good idea." I give her a knowing look. "And you're drunk."

"Maybe we could be drunk together?"

"Maybe you should head back and sleep." I snort. "I'm really not interesting."

"Funny." She shrugs. "You seemed _interested_ before."

"My bad." I give her a sad smile. "I was just humoring you."

"I could really use some more humoring." Leaning in, Arizona's breath washes over the side of my face. "What have you got to lose?"

 _My sanity?_

"Fine. I'll have a drink with you." I agree. "But in the hotel bar. _Not_ your room."

* * *

Settled at a table in the window of the hotel bar, Arizona is sitting opposite me, her eyes fixed firmly on mine. I don't know this woman and I don't believe I ever will, so sitting here feels kinda odd. I mean, what do we even talk about? I'm out of here in a few days so anything we do talk about is kinda pointless.

"You're not from here…" She says, breaking the silence.

"Neither are you." I sip my scotch.

"Good observation." Her smile reaching her ears, I'm not sure another woman has ever looked at me the way she is. "So, where _is_ home?"

"New York." I set my glass down. "You?"

"Oh, I'm here, there and everywhere." She shrugs. "Never fixed to one place."

"What do you do?"

"Marketing consultant." She replies.

"Nice." I nod slowly. "Finance for me."

"Mm, you seem like a finance kinda woman." She smirks.

"Okay, I don't even know what that means." I furrow my brow.

"I didn't mean anything by it. You just seem like a businesswoman. Someone who has her head firmly screwed on."

"You don't?"

"Depends what mood I'm in." Arizona sits forward, her elbows resting on the table between us. "I'm here for a conference so I like to let my hair down…"

"Then I guess we're here for the same reason. Minus the drink." I smile "I'm here for the conference too."

"Good to know." She takes her bottom lip between her teeth. "Guess I'll be seeing you around."

"Oh, I don't know about that." I shake my head. "I like to relax during the evenings."

"You really need to loosen up…" Arizona rolls her eyes. "You know, it's rude to share a drink with someone and not tell them your name."

"Eliza." I sigh. "My name is Eliza."

"Beautiful." Arizona finally relaxed, sinking back in her seat. "Thought you'd never give it up."

"What is your game exactly?"

"My game?" She laughs, knocking back the remainder of her drink. "Why do you assume I have a game?"

"Because you're paying a _ridiculous_ amount of attention to me," I say. "You don't know me, yet here you are...flirting."

"Is it against some law to flirt with a beautiful woman?"

"No." I laugh. "But you've really got this wrong if that's what you believe. I'm not who you want to spend your time with."

"You sound kinda sure about that."

"I am." I nod. "Thank you for the drink but I should really head up to my room." Standing, I take my purse from the chair beside me and back up a little. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Hey, don't leave." She furrows her brow. "Stay. Talk. Be beautiful."

"Goodnight, Arizona." Turning, I head for the elevator and press the call button. Relieved when the doors open, I step inside and hit the fifth-floor button.

"Wait up!" Arizona rushes inside the elevator carriage, standing beside me. "Sorry, I figured I'd leave too."

"Sure, yeah." I clear my throat, her scent overpowering the entire elevator. Shifting closer to me, she leans back against the wall and sighs. "You're at the conference tomorrow, too?" I ask, the silence too much to take.

"Yeah. Headed home Thursday."

"Well…" I step forward, expecting the elevator to stop at my floor any moment now. "It was great meeting you, Arizona."

"Eliza…" The blonde steps forward, invading my personal space, her hand settling on my lower back.

"Yeah?" My heart rate soars.

Her arm wrapping around my waist, the elevator suddenly stops and I find Arizona in front of me, pushing me back against the wall of the carriage. Her hands braced either side of my head, she leans in, her lips pressing hard against mine. "I think you're really beautiful…"

"Oh god." I swallow hard. "Y-You just kissed me."

"I did." Her nose brushes mine as she smiles against my mouth. "And I really need to do it again."

"We shouldn't."

I know I want to, but why put us through this for a night of needy sex? I'm not likely to ever see her again and I know the moment I take this to either of our hotel rooms, I'll become attached. As much as I'd love to spend the night with Arizona, I learned my lesson some time ago.

Pulling back, Arizona gives me a nod, a sadness evident in her eyes. Hitting a button on the elevator, the power returns and it continues to move upward. "I'm sorry." She stands on the opposite side of the carriage. "I shouldn't have done that."

"It's okay." I straighten myself out. "Just…it would be a mistake."

"How?" She whispers, her eyes closing as she rests her head back against the carriage. "How can it be a mistake when it feels right?"

"It does…" The reminder of her lips on my own, it felt _so_ right.

The elevator coming to a stop, I glance up at the floor number and a sadness settles within me. I know this is wrong and I know it shouldn't be happening, but Arizona is right. What have I got to lose?

"Come on…" I take her hand, the doors opening. "I have a bottle of scotch in my room. I think we both need it."

"Yeah?" Arizona's eyes brighten. "I mean, don't feel obliged."

"Just…move your ass." I pull her out into the corridor. "Mine or yours?"

"Well, you have the scotch, so?"

"Figured." I roll my eyes playfully.

I'm totally out of my comfort zone here, but I don't know what else to do. She kissed me and now I need more. Wrong, I know…but it's been so long since I felt another woman's touch. It's been so long since I had attention like this. Would I be stupid to let it go? I believe I would. Honestly, I don't know the next time anyone will look at me how Arizona does. She's something else, that's for sure.

Sliding my keycard down the door, it fails the first time and I sigh.

"You want me to try?" Arizona's arms wrap around my waist, her lips pressing to my neck. "I have good hands…"

"I don't doubt that." I whimper, her body pressing me against the door. "But I've got it."

"And _I_ don't doubt that…" She smirks, her teeth tugging my earlobe. "You know you wanna head inside here." Arizona smiles. "So, you should really hurry this up."

"A-Arizona." My breath catches, her hand slipping beneath my shirt.

"Mm…"

"N-Nothing."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	2. Chapter 2

**You & I**

* * *

Two

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _Shit! My head's pounding._

Squinting as my eyes open, I struggle to understand where I am, but then I suddenly feel a warmth beside me. _Oh, shit!_ This isn't good. Nothing that happened last night can bring any good to my life. I mean, I wish it could, but things are complicated. Things are...hard. I know it was my own choice to come back here last night with the woman from the bar, but this is what happens when I'm lonely and drunk. This is what happens when I choose to be an asshole, chasing the women.

Why do I do this to myself? Why do I bring women back only to feel bad about it the next day? I'll tell you why...because it's not me. It's never been me. Until one day, it became my choice of lifestyle. _Fuck, this is a mess._

Trying to slowly climb from the bed, Eliza's naked back is on view and my body throbs for more. Last night, it was amazing. I felt like myself for the first time in forever. Not because she gave me what I wanted, but because I felt something with her. A spark. A connection. I don't know. Either way, it felt good. It felt real.

Watching as she stirs, I close my eyes, frozen in my spot. I really need her to not wake up right now. How am I supposed to suddenly leave if she's watching me do it? It's bad enough that I'm here at all, so I need her to at least pretend she's sleeping. _Yeah, it never happens that way, Robbins._

"You're leaving…" Her sleep filled voice startles me.

"Sorry, just...I need to grab breakfast." I clear my throat. "Maybe I'll see you at the conference."

"Give me a few minutes and I'll head down with you."

"No." I rush out. "It's okay. You sleep a while longer."

"I knew this would happen." Eliza sits up, pulling the sheet around her body, protecting herself. "I told you not to push it. I told you I wasn't who you wanted."

"Huh?"

"Just leave, Arizona." Resting back against the headboard, the realization of what she's saying hits me.

"Oh, you mean…" I furrow my brow. "That's not what this is about."

"You can't even say the words." She laughs. "Please, go."

"Eliza." I run my fingers through my hair. "Please, I need you to believe that this isn't about that."

"About what?" She spits. "If you're going to explain yourself, at least say the words."

"Me leaving has _nothing_ to do with your scars…"

"It's written all over your face." She looks at me with disappointment. "I don't expect you to be okay with this. I did warn you, though."

"I really have to go, but please believe I'm not leaving because of anything you did."

"I don't have to do anything." Eliza laughs. "People see them and they freak out." She shrugs. "I'm used to it but you seemed different. You seemed...to care."

"I-I do care," I say with certainty. "Just...can we meet later? After the conference?"

"No." She gives me a sad smile. "Leave and you'll never have to see me again."

"I'm sorry." I can feel the disappointment settling inside me. "I want to explain but if it's not what you want to hear, I won't make you listen."

"Bye, Arizona." Turning her naked body away from me, my heart feels heavy in my chest. Heavier than its ever been. "Take your crap with you."

"Eliza." I clear my throat, approaching the door and pulling on my jeans. "Just...you're beautiful, okay?"

"No." She turns back to face me. "I'm just the mutilated, cancer surviving lesbian, who has no tits."

 _Wow…_

My heart breaking for this woman, I don't want to rile her up. I don't want to explain only to make things worse and leave her feeling shittier than she already does. Either way, I can't win.

"You know, last night...I thought I saw something different in you to the others." Her voice breaks. "I thought you didn't look at me how they did. I should've told you. I shouldn't have put you in that position. You should've known before I brought you here."

"I think you're beautiful." I sigh, buttoning up my shirt. "Make of that what you will."

"I don't think I can make it to the conference today." She shakes her head. "Thanks for an awesome night…"

"I want there to be more…" I admit "But I have things to explain."

"I'll be gone in a few hours. You'll never have to see me again or explain yourself." She drags herself from the bed, the sheet still wrapped around her. "Really, last night was great."

"Yeah, it was." I agree, a smile curling on my mouth. "It was amazing."

"You said you had to go, so you really should." Eliza clears her throat. "I need to prepare for my trip home."

Simply nodding, I step out into the corridor, still barefoot. It wasn't ever my intention to make her feel how she does, but every time this happens, I feel bad. Every time I climb into bed with another woman, I feel like it shouldn't be happening.

 _I'm sick and tired of this…_

* * *

"Hey!" My call connects. "Things at the office okay?" Slipping my blazer over my shoulders, I check myself out in the huge mirror.

"Everything's fine here, Zo," Suzanna replies. "Busy week at the conference?"

"Guess so, yeah." Eliza is still on my mind, two days after I met her. "You think we can talk when I get home?"

"Suppose so," Suzanna says. "What's it about?"

"Us." I clear my throat. "I don't like it anymore."

"What don't you like?" She asks. "The Mercedes? The penthouse apartment? Fucking me whenever we need a little release…"

"Can you not be so crude?" My stomach turns. "We haven't slept together in almost three months…"

"Doesn't mean you don't enjoy it when it happens…"

"Look, I have to go." I sigh. "But I'm serious. We need to talk when I'm back in New York."

"Yeah, yeah," Suzanna says, sarcastically. "I don't know what needs to change but whatever."

"Bye." Ending the call, I throw my cell onto the bed and run my fingers through my hair. I'm done with this lifestyle. It only leaves me feeling shitty and untrusting. None of this is right and honestly, my marriage is a shambles. It has been for a long time.

I married Suzanna some six years ago. She's a wealthy businesswoman who knows exactly what she wants. I get that and I appreciate it, but I don't want to be a part of her perfect facade any longer. I haven't wanted that since we decided to separate. We had an agreement that we would have separate lives until the business came into play.

We're free to see whoever we please, so long as we aren't seen by the people who have the final say in investments and whatever else comes with my wife's business. It's bullshit really but I'm the one who feels bad whenever I've slept with someone else. Why? Because I'm still married. I'm still bound to someone through a piece of paper and some stupid fucking law. Suzanna knows I don't want it but she assumes I need my reputation more. I don't and I never have.

I've asked for a divorce, on more than one occasion, but she's never agreed. She simply tells me I have the best of both worlds. Is it really that simple, though? No, it's not. I can't fall in love like I want to. I can't have another woman _fully_ in my life. Whenever I've come close to that, I've told them about my wife and they leave. They leave and assume I'm a serial cheater. Having an affair. They hear the word wife and they bolt.

Who can blame them, though? The world I live in is so far from what I expected growing up, but it worked. For a time, it worked well. Suzanna has what she wants, a wife for the charity dinners and galas she attends, and I don't have to answer to her when I disappear for the weekend, banging some random woman in a different town. She knows why I leave for conferences and conventions, but she doesn't care. Legally, I belong to her. Legally, I'm fucked.

 _One more day and I'll be home…_

* * *

Reaching the elevator, the doors open and I step inside. I arrived home a few hours ago, and after taking my suitcase back to my place, I received a call from Suzanna, summoning me to her office. I'm glad she called but it doesn't really matter now. Eliza left the conference when she said she was and I didn't get the opportunity to see her again or take her number. I looked for her, asked for her, but she'd gone.

Whether Suzanna agrees to end things completely, it no longer matters. I still want to stop this with her, though. Even if Eliza left believing I'm a complete bitch, someone she never wants to see again, I still want to end this bullshit life with her. It's wearing me down. It's making me feel shitty. No matter what she tells me, I still feel as though I'm cheating whenever I climb into bed with another woman. I still feel like I'm doing something wrong.

The doors opening, the ding of the bell pulling me from my thoughts, I step out into the corridor and clear my throat. Straightening myself out, I glance down at the wedding ring on my left hand and roll my eyes. I only wear it when I'm at the office and that's because Suzanna asks me to. The less obvious our lack of love is, the less likely people are to talk.

Knocking when I reach the huge floor to ceiling door, the sound of voices is present as always. Ninety percent of her time is spent in meetings and discussions, it's one of the reasons we decided to separate. I needed more. I needed to relax at home during the evenings, sharing dinner with the woman I love. I needed that, but Suzanna couldn't give it to me. I should've known really. She was successful when I met her so that success was only going to skyrocket as the years went on. Now, I'm a thirty-six-year-old woman who goes home alone at night, to a separate apartment to my wife.

"Come in." Suzanna's distinctive voice calls from behind the door.

Pushing it open, I slip inside and close the door behind me. My wife likes her privacy and honestly, so do I. I don't need half of the office hearing what I'm about to say. Waiting back until her meeting is over, I focus my eyes on the back of the woman sitting across from my wife's desk and furrow my brow. _She looks familiar._

"Hi, honey." Suzanna smiles, removing her glasses. "I was just getting acquainted with our new finance director. "Come join us…"

"Right, yeah." I sigh, the realization that this isn't about the talk I wanted sinking in. "Did we need a new financial director?" I approach the back of the seat beside the woman I'm yet to meet.

"We did." My wife nods. "Paul wasn't reliable enough."

"This is my wife." Suzanna stands, motioning between me and the new finance girl. "Arizona Robbins."

"Nice to meet yo-" Turning, the woman clears her throat and holds out her hand. "y-you."

"Eliza Minnick." _oh fuck!_

"Great to have you with us." My throat dries. "I'm sure you'll be a great asset to the company."

"I hope to be." She removes her hand from mine, dropping back down into her seat and looking away from me.

"I'll be another few minutes here," Suzanna says. "Then we will go out to lunch together."

"Sure, yeah." I shift uncomfortably.

"If it would be okay, I'd like to get to work." Eliza interrupts. "If we're finished here?"

"We're finished." Suzanna nods. "You know where you're going?"

"I do, thank you." Standing, Eliza moves past me, that same perfume from a few nights ago sending a shiver down my spine. "Goodbye, Mrs. Robbins." She looks at me, disgust in her intense green eyes.

"B-Bye."

Watching her leave, my heart feels heavy as it sinks into my stomach. Suzanna is staring at me because I'm still standing in the middle of the office, but I don't have the brain capacity to do this with her now. She knows something isn't right, but I need her to _not_ know about Eliza. One of our agreements was that we'd keep it out of the office. If she knows, Eliza will be out of a job. I don't want that to happen. After all, I'm the one who couldn't keep it in my pants.

"Are you just going to stand there all day?"

"Sorry." I wave off her question, laughing. "Long morning."

"How long have you been fucking her?" She sits back in her seat, taping her pen on the stack of papers in front of her.

"Who?"

"Our new staff…"

"Uh, I haven't been fucking anyone." I scoff.

"We both know that's a lie, honey." Suzanna rolls her eyes. "She was looking at you like she's fucked you. Like she's seen you naked."

"Suzanna, I'm not sleeping with her, okay?"

"If you say so, darling." She sighs. "So, you wanted to talk?"

"Not right now." I shake my head. "I wasn't planning to work today so I'm headed home."

"You came by just to see me?" She says, lovingly. "How sweet."

"Um, I came by because you called me and asked me to."

"You could've said no…" She smirks.

"Why would I do that? I'm your business partner."

"Share dinner with me tonight…" My wife says, demanding not asking. "I'll book a table downtown."

"Tonight doesn't work for me." I back up. "I have things to do at home."

"Tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow is fine." I nod. "The new girl settled with everything?"

"She claims to be." Suzanna shrugs. "Check in with her on your way out…"

"Paul's office?" I arch an eyebrow, my hand settled on the door handle.

"Yup." Returning to the work in front of her, Suzanna dismisses me with her hand and I roll my eyes.

Slipping out of her office, I head down the corridor I came from a short while ago and take a left when I reach the end of it. Eliza is situated close to the elevator which is perfect really. It gives me an easy way out when she starts throwing office supplies at me.

Clearing my throat, I knock on her office door and push it open. Her back to me, her shoulders are shaking, she's visibly upset. "Hey…" I step inside, closing the door.

"What do you want?" She turns to face me. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"A lot, actually." I run my fingers through my hair. "Can I see you tonight?"

"You're fucking joking, right?" She lowers her voice. "You're asking me to see you tonight when your fucking wife is down the hall...and my boss?! You're unbelievable."

"If you'll let me explain…" I breathe out. "I just don't want to do it here."

"No." She shakes her head. "You're one of my bosses and that's where it ends, Arizona. You might be happy cheating on your wife, but I don't want anything to do with that."

"That's not what happened…"

"Yeah, that _is_ what happened." She scoffs. "Nice addition to your jewelry collection." Motioning towards my hand, I focus my eyes on my wedding ring, disappointment written all over both of our faces. "You can leave. We have nothing to say to each other."

"I feel differently…"

"I don't think you're in any position to feel differently. You have a wife, Arizona. You have a wife and we spent the night together. We woke, naked, and you have a fucking wife!"

"I just…" Realizing this conversation is going nowhere, I shake my head and approach Eliza's desk. Scribbling my number down on a post it, I leave it in its place and back up towards the door. "If you change your mind…"

"I won't." She drops down in her office chair. "I do have one question for you, though…"

"Okay." I nod slowly.

"How disgusted were you when you realized what was beneath my clothes?"

"Disgusted?" I furrow my brow. "Why the hell would I be disgusted?"

"Because they always are." Eliza laughs. "Every. Single. Time."

"Well, _they_ are assholes," I say, approaching her desk again. "How long ago?"

"How long ago what?" She asks. "How long ago did I become less of a woman?"

"How long have you been cancer free?" I give her a sad smile.

"Almost two years." She clears her throat. "Now I focus on my work. It's done me good so far."

"I'm happy you're here." My eyes bore into hers. "Whether you believe me or not, I am."

"I have work to do." She powers up her laptop. "Thanks for the job."

"My number is there if you decide you'd like to let me explain…"

"I don't want to hear your explanation." She holds up her hand. "We slept together and it was the biggest mistake of my life."

Something in her eyes tells me that's not true, but Eliza's right. I'm in no position to push this. Like the rest of them, she thinks I'm a cheater. If that's the opinion she wants to have of me, who am I to try and change her mind? This woman looks like she's been through enough to last her a lifetime, the last thing she needs is to get caught up in my fucked-up, nonexistent marriage.

"If you need anything…" I clear my throat. "Professionally."

"Sure, I'll be sure to come and find you…or your wife."

"Goodbye, Eliza." Stepping out of her office, I step straight into the elevator, my emotions beginning to get the better of me. I don't want this to come between us at work, but I do want to see more of her. I want to, but I know I can't. I'd never forgive myself if Suzanna fired Eliza for sleeping with me. My wife may be a great businesswoman, charity worker and whatever else falls under her umbrella of accomplishments, but when it comes to me…things can get nasty. When it comes to me, her jealousy boils over. Whether we've been separated for a while or not and whether we see other people or not, if it's flaunted in front of her, she's one nasty woman.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	3. Chapter 3

**You & I**

* * *

Three

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _One week later…_

Life here at the office isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Initially, I was excited at the thought of taking on a new project but seeing Arizona kinda threw me. I'm quite good at distancing myself from things that can negatively impact my life, but seeing her every day, watching her pass by my office, a small smile and a wave thrown my way, it's hard. It's hard but I'm coping. I have to. She has a wife and that isn't my business. I also don't wish to make it my business. What good can come from that? Suzanna is frightening enough without the knowledge that I fucked her wife thrown into the mix. She doesn't need to know and I hope to god she never finds out.

I don't want to cause trouble for Arizona, but I didn't know she was married when I met her at the conference. Honestly, she didn't give off that vibe at all. She didn't come across as the kind of woman who removes her wedding ring so she can bed whoever she wants. She seemed genuine. She seemed sweet. She didn't run when she removed my blouse, discovering my scars, but I do believe that's one of the reasons she was so desperate to leave the next morning. That and the fact that she has a wife. It's obvious that she didn't want to share breakfast because all I was to her was a one-night stand.

I've never imagined myself to become that for someone, but I don't wish to continue it. I cannot be the woman seen as a home wrecker. I cannot become the one everyone hates for ruining the supposedly perfect marriage. That's what would happen. Arizona would get away with it and I'd be the world's worst. I know how it goes, I've seen it before with friends and their relationships. I have enough going on in my life to distance myself from this and that's what I've done. If Arizona comes by, it's regarding work. If I stop by her office, it's regarding work. Professionalism is the only thing on my mind and I'd like it to stay that way.

Yes, I struggle to take my eyes off her if I see her around but looking is totally different from touching. I probably shouldn't look either, but I spent the night with her. I know exactly what she's capable of. Arizona Robbins may be an adulterer, but she gave me the first real orgasm I've had since my sex drive returned some eighteen months ago. The women before, they never got close enough. Something would happen, or they'd suddenly get a call and have to leave. Whatever it was, the night always ended before it truly begun.

It became the story of my life, but now that I'm used to it, I don't feel as offended as I once did. I have to understand that not everyone appreciates me for me anymore, but rather for my body, or the lack of it. I used to be hot. I used to be the one the women glared at when I walked inside a bar. Once word got around, that changed. People distanced themselves from me. Exes, old flames. They distanced themselves, but I got it. How am I supposed to expect women to openly express their attraction to me when it no longer exists? Nothing about me is attractive anymore, but I'm alive. I'm alive and I focus on that.

 _God, I had a great pair of boobs…_

Sighing at the thought of what I once had, the sound of the elevator catches my attention. My door is generally always open, and yeah, I like to see what's going on. Who's coming and going. The doors opening, I hear Suzanna's voice, a laugh erupting in the carriage. I'm about to fix my eyes back on the screen in front of me when I catch sight of my boss, wrapped up in the arms of another woman. A woman that's _not_ Arizona. Her hands are really where they shouldn't be, and her lips are attached to Suzanna's neck.

 _Fucking hell._

The people in this place are batshit crazy. How can she do that? How can she cheat when she's at work? Surely, Arizona could catch her at any moment? Surely, this is all totally unacceptable. I feel like I should say something, but it isn't my place to do so. How can I call her out on her behavior when Arizona cheated with me? _That thought still turns my stomach._ How did this happen? How did I become the woman who sleeps with someone else's wife? How am I sitting here now, watching said woman's wife…about to bang someone else in the elevator?

This is too much to even comprehend. I'm all for people living their own lives, but this is totally wrong. Arizona and Suzanna are married. They look happy. I know she told me she had things to explain, but surely this can't be the explanation. Polygamy? An open relationship? I don't have a clue what I'm witnessing but I think maybe I do need answers.

Opening the top drawer of my desk, I take the post-it note Arizona scribbled on last week and unlock my cell. I don't know if she's even in town this week, but I guess I'm about to find out.

 ** _E: Hi, it's Eliza. Can we meet for coffee?_**

 ** _A: Sure. When?_**

 ** _E: This evening, maybe? I'm planning to leave the office in the next hour…_**

 ** _A: Did you need to do coffee in public or are you okay coming to my place?_**

 ** _E: Suzanna won't be home?_**

 ** _A: No._**

 ** _E: I guess it would be okay to come over. Send over your address._**

 ** _A: No problem._**

Setting my cell back down, I'm not sure going to Arizona's home is a good idea. Suzanna could come home at any moment and I don't know how I'd feel about that. Sure, she doesn't know anything happened, but how do I explain being in her home after office hours? If the tables were turned, I'd find it odd. I'm sure she would, too.

* * *

An hour later, I find myself standing outside the entrance to Arizona's apartment. Honestly, I expected them to live in a huge townhouse, but I guess I was wrong. Silly for me to think that really since I don't know anything about either of my bosses. What I do know though, is that they clearly like to get familiar with the ladies, while married. I wonder if Arizona knows Suzanna has been having an affair? I wonder if Suzanna knows about Arizona and this is retaliation.

The sooner I have answers, the sooner I can move on with my life. Arizona and I could never be together, whatever the weird arrangements are with her wife, so once I know what to expect from them both, I can get over it all and continue doing what I do best. Working. Making a living for myself. Putting my all into the company I'm now working for. I've been hired to do a job and I'm going to do it to the best of my ability.

Entering her block, I take the elevator up to the top floor, the penthouse apartment. It sounds kinda fancy, but that's to be expected. Arizona clearly has a lot of wealth behind her, even if it didn't seem that way when I met her at the bar a couple of weeks ago. When she was drunk on stage, she was far from the high-flying New York businesswoman I know today. Crazy, but it is what it is.

Stepping out, the corridor is eerily quiet, but it feels good. Sometimes I enjoy the quiet. The peace. The silence. I've become so accustomed to it, that it's what I look forward to when I leave the bustle of the city every day. Don't get me wrong, I'm very much a people person, but since the chemotherapy and everything else I went through, I learned to meditate, center myself. I practice daily, but it's hard to do when you're working for a major company, slap bang in the middle of New York City.

Reaching Arizona's apartment, I knock on the door and wait for any sign of life. It seems she had the day off today and I'm assuming that's why Suzanna brought her 'whatever she is' back to the office with her. Very brazen, but still…none of my business. So long as I keep my nose out, nothing can come of me knowing. I'll tell Arizona what I saw today, but from there on, she can count me out. I don't want to know any more than that.

"Hi." Her door opens, her body covered by an oversized sweater and yoga pants. "Sorry, am I interrupting?"

"No, come on in." She steps aside, the scent of her perfume causing my lips to upturn slightly. "Everything okay at the office?"

"Well…" I clear my throat. "It depends what you mean by that."

"Um…" Arizona looks at me, confused. "Like, are they treating you well? Nobody giving you any hassle?"

"Oh, no." I shake my head. "Everyone has been great so far."

"That's good." Arizona closes the door and motions for me to join her in the kitchen. "Coffee?"

"Please." I smile. "Suzanna was around today."

"Yeah?" She glances up at me, her blue eyes glistening in the late evening sun beaming through her huge panoramic windows.

"Mm, she was with someone." I shift uncomfortably. "A woman."

"We have a lot of women at the office, Eliza." Arizona faces me fully, setting a coffee down in front of me. "What department?"

"Hmm, I've no idea." I snort. "The bedroom department, maybe?"

"Ah." My boss laughs. "Beth?"

"She didn't give any names." I furrow my brow. "A little too busy for that…"

"Okay, if you have something to say, just say it."

"I think your wife is having an affair." The words fall from my mouth but Arizona's reaction is not what I expected. Her lack of any emotion is not what I expected. "And you already knew, right?"

"She's not having an affair." Arizona heads into her open plan living room. "Join me?" Following her, I take a seat on her huge, grey, corner couch, overlooking the city. "We don't live together. We're _not_ together."

"But she's your wife."

"When it suits her." She laughs, her fingers laced around the coffee cup in her hands. "This is what I was trying to explain to you."

"Okay, you've lost me." My purse drops from my shoulder. "I mean, is Suzanna your wife or not?"

"She is, but only legally," Arizona says. "We're separated."

"For how long?"

"Way over a year now." She shrugs. "I'm not exactly sure of the timeline…"

"But she introduced you to me as her wife," I reply. "If you're not together, why not just say you're her business partner?"

"Because she likes to play the marriage at work, business events. You know?"

"No, I don't know." My head hurts thinking about this. "Are you divorcing?"

"I'd like to, but she doesn't want that."

"So, you guys just sleep around outside work?"

"Basically, yeah." Something on my face changing, it registers with Arizona and she sets her coffee cup down, sitting forward in her seat. "It's not ideal, but we're not in a relationship. When I met you, I didn't cheat on her."

"So, you only ran out because of me then?" I scoff. "I don't know what's worse…"

"I didn't run out because of you." She takes my hand, but I pull away. "Just…that happens a lot when I've been drinking." She sighs. "I'll meet someone and then feel bad the next day."

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" She raises an eyebrow. "If I'd told you I was married when I met you, would you have slept with me?"

"No." I give her an incredulous look.

"Exactly." She smiles, weakly. "When I drink, I feel like I can do whatever I want. I mean, I can…but getting out of town is easier. Nobody knows me. I'm not likely to be seen with any women if I'm not doing it around here. Then the morning comes around, and rather than explaining, I bolt. It's easier that way."

"Sure." I roll my eyes. "Why not just explain that you're separated?"

"Because it's not that simple." Arizona sighs, her eyes glossy. "I _am_ separated, but at times, I am with my wife. Events. Dinners. Galas. That is when we are seen to be happy and together, at the office, too."

"Right." This is a lot to get my head around. "So, you _can_ date other women?"

"Sure." She nods. "I don't, but I can."

"Why don't you?"

"Like I said, it's easier if I don't." Relaxing back in her seat, Arizona studies my face. "Nobody ever understands my situation and eventually, it falls apart. It has done in the past and I fully expect it to in the future."

"So, we could've dated?"

"We could…if you didn't work at the office."

"Mm." Now that I'm expressing my interest, Arizona is backing off. Not because of her wife, but because of me. This is how it goes. The benefit Arizona has is that she has the perfect excuse.

"You think I'm lying?"

"It doesn't matter what I think." I take my purse from beside me, setting my coffee cup down on the coffee table. "Thanks for explaining. I just…I thought you should know that your wife was with another woman." Standing, I move through her home. "See you Monday."

"Wait!" Arizona follows me to the door. "Eliza, this isn't what you think. I think you're fucking gorgeous."

"Sure." I smile. "When I'm clothed." Laughing, I drop my gaze. "I hope whatever is going on between you and Suzanna works out for you."

"When I left that hotel room, I wanted more with you." She says. "I wanted to see you again."

"And here I am." I give her a sad smile. "Here I am, standing in front of you, you telling me that you can't."

"I just…"

"Look, Arizona." I run my fingers through my hair. "You don't need to explain. You've just told me you and your wife are separated. You then said you can date. You said you wanted more with me…but you don't? Or you can't?"

"I do but I can't, yes." She nods. "If Suzanna knows I'm dating you, someone at the office, she would hit the fucking roof."

"But she's not your problem anymore." My forehead creases. "You're only bound by a piece of paper, so why should she have a say in your life, when she's virtually fucking another woman in the elevator at work?"

"What?" Her eyes widen. "That was at work?"

"Uh, yeah." I laugh. "You forget my office is opposite the elevator…"

"That isn't in the agreement." She scoffs. "Work and our private lives are supposed to be kept separate."

"Yeah, well she's there doing what she pleases… _who_ she pleases." My hand resting on the door handle, I'm about to open it when Arizona stops me. Her body pressing against mine. "Arizona, don't."

"Please, don't think that I'm not attracted to you…" She says, her lips mere millimeters from mine. "All I've thought about is _you_ …"

"I'm sure that's not true."

"Stay. Have dinner with me." She asks. "I really don't want you to leave."

"This can't go any further." I focus on the sliver of space between us. "I can't do this with you."

"If you're going to walk out of here right now, I need you to know that if things were different, I'd so fucking date you." Her lips brush against mine. "I'd make you feel a million dollars."

"Please…"

" _You_ are breathtaking." Arizona whispers. "Your eyes…" She focuses on them, her forehead pressing against my own. "…your eyes are incredible."

"I-I have to leave…" I try to place the door handle, but this woman is making me dizzy.

"Your body…" Her eyes close. "God, I can't get your body out of my mind." A tear slips down her face. "Every curve. Every inch. Your soft skin."

 _Oh god…_

"If we could be together…" Arizona places her hands against the door, either side of my head, those blue eyes still closed. "…if we could be together, I'd make you happy."

"But we can't…" My voice breaks.

I know we've only slept together, but Arizona means something to me. How she treated me, how she touched me…nobody has ever taken the time to worship every inch of my body. Nobody has ever given me their full attention like she did.

"Let me try to figure this out." Her hands trail down either side of my body, settling on my hips. "Please?"

"It won't work." I disagree, my voice barely audible. "One of us will get hurt."

"I'd never hurt you…" Her soft hands slip lower, gripping my ass, my purse falling to the floor. "I'd never do anything to hurt you."

"Arizona, don't make promises you can't keep." My eyes close as her lips press hard against mine.

When she kisses me, I feel like I used to. Before the cancer. Before the therapies and the surgery. When Arizona Robbins kisses me, I feel alive. God, I feel so alive that my heart pounds out of my chest. I want nothing more than to be something with her, but she already has doubts. She already says this can't happen. If it's wrong, why do I feel this way? All consuming. Stealing my breath? If this is wrong, then I want to be wrong for the rest of my life. I don't ever want to be right again.

"Oh god." I gasp as she pulls back. "A-Arizona…"

"Eliza…" Her hands wrapping around the backs of my thighs, she lifts me, my legs wrapping around her waist. Holding me up against her front door, her lips trail my neck and my body throbs with want. Something about her lips makes me feel a way I've never felt before. I've had my fair share of women over the years, but this woman? God, this woman is like nothing in this world. "God, I need you to stay."

"I shouldn't." I whimper as she sucks on the skin of my neck.

"You should." Arizona smiles against my skin. "You have to…"

"I can't." My head falls back on my shoulders.

"You can…" Her lips trail lower, her teeth nipping my collarbone. "Because I can't spend this weekend without you here."

"I'm not who you want, Arizona." My emotions getting the better of me, she grips my jaw gently, finding my eyes. "You deserve more than me…"

"You've no idea just how much I want you." That gorgeous smile settling on her face, my stomach flutters. "Everything about you…"

"I'm not enough for you."

"Hey." Her lips press against mine, softly. "You're _too_ _much_ for me."

"Stop saying things like that…" My voice breaks.

"Only if you stop saying things like that, too…" She smiles, pulling me away from the door. Guiding me through her living room, my legs wrap tighter around Arizona's body as she lies me down on her couch. "Because really, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen…"

"What about Suzanna…" Her eyes boring into my soul, one hand settles beneath my blouse against my skin, setting my entire body alight.

"Fuck, Suzanna."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	4. Chapter 4

**You & I**

* * *

Four

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Staring down at Eliza, lying on the couch beneath me, I'm not sure I've ever seen a woman so beautiful. I mean, I pass beautiful women on the street every day, but this? This is complete absolute beauty. Natural. Heart-stopping. This is intense beauty that only some people will ever experience in their lives. This beauty, is a beauty you only come across once in a life time.

She's watching me, watching her, but I can't stop myself. I can't stop staring. Smiling. Desperate to touch her. Even though I know I should, I can't. Suzanna is going to freak out, if and when she discovers what's going on here, but I'm past caring. I really am. If she can flaunt what she has during work, then I can do this in the privacy of my own home. A home I've never shared with her and a home I never will.

"You good?" I ask, my eyes studying her face.

"Y-Yes." She stutters, my legs now straddling hers. "You're sure this is the right thing to do?"

"What are you worried about?"

"Your wife. You. My job. Should I go on?"

"Don't worry about Suzanna." I lean down, my lips ghosting across Eliza's. "She isn't any of my concern right now..."

"But I feel like she should be," Eliza replies. "Don't you?"

"Not really, no." I pull back, unsure if she wants this to go any further. "Do you want to leave?"

"No." She fists her hand in my sweeter, pulling me back down against her. "But I do want to know how this is going to work..."

"Well, I figured I'd take this to the bedroom and go from there." I try to lighten the mood.

"I mean us, Arizona." She gives me a knowing look. "How are we supposed to do this?"

"Do we have to worry about that right now?" I ask, hoping the answer will be no. "I mean, I can think of better things to do."

"Am I going to lose my job?"

"No." I shake my head. "I won't allow that to happen."

"Because Suzanna listens to what you have to say, right?"

"If she wants to play her stupid games, then yes, she will have no choice but to do as I say."

"I really don't like this." Eliza sighs. "None of it is right."

"It doesn't feel right to you?" My stomach flips. "I need to know..." Climbing off Eliza, I take a seat on the edge of the coffee table. "Huh?"

"It does feel right." She reaches out her hand to me. "But I don't like knowing I can't be out with you in public." She sighs. "And I know...I know that makes me selfish, but I don't care."

"It doesn't make you selfish." My thumb trails her knuckles. "It makes you human."

"Still...what do I do?"

"Honestly, I don't know." I run my fingers through my hair, my eyes closing. "I've never been this into anyone else before. I usually just let it go..."

"So, I'm the exception?" Eliza raises her eyebrow.

"Mm, you are most definitely the exception."

"Then whatever you want...I'll do." She sits up, swinging her legs over the edge of my couch. "Whatever works for you."

"No." I disagree. "It doesn't work like that."

"That's the only way it can work, Arizona." She gives me a sad smile. "I don't like it, but I feel like you're worth it."

"That's sweet." My heart flutters.

"You seem like you're worth the hassle."

"I'm not." I laugh. "I'm really not."

"Why do you say that?"

"Look at me." I scoff. "I've spent years, married to a woman I don't love, just to keep the peace. To keep the business running smoothly. Who the hell does that?"

"Someone who cares about her business." Eliza takes my hand. "Someone with a heart of gold."

"Someone who's too scared to change, even though I know it's for the best."

"Maybe..." Eliza shrugs. "But I'm willing to see this through privately if you are..."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, I know I can't get close to you at work. It means I know we can't be out in public together. It means I care about you enough to do those things, hoping one day, you won't have to lie anymore."

"Stand up." I clear my throat, getting to my feet.

"Why?" Eliza stands slowly, worry settling in her eyes.

"Because I'm taking you to bed." Gripping her wrist, I pull her into my body. "Just like I've wanted to do since the moment I left you in that hotel room."

"You really don't care about what you saw last time?" I know she's looking for acceptance, but she gained that from me the moment I laid eyes on her. I don't care what's beneath her blouse. I don't care if she has scars from her past. I care about her. Her beautiful mind. Her intriguing self. I care about her health and her wellbeing.

"I care about _you,_ Eliza _."_ My hand cups her face.

"Really?" Her eyes hold unshed tears. "But why?"

"Because you're fucking beautiful," I say without hesitation.

"I'm still me." She whispers. I'm not sure she was supposed to say that out loud, but I appreciate her honesty. "I swear, I'm still me."

"I don't doubt that." I lean in, capturing her lips. "And I cannot wait to know you..."

* * *

Sitting on the edge of my super king size bed, Eliza is taking in the view outside my window and my heart is pounding hard. I don't know what she wants. I don't know if she's feeling uncomfortable. Yes, we've spent the night together before, but now that she knows I know about her past, I think she's panicking. I wish she wouldn't but I totally understand if she is. I want to ask her to come closer and I want to ask her to stay the weekend with me, but I don't want to spook her. I don't want her to feel obliged to stay.

She's been tugging at the hem of her blouse for some twenty minutes, it's clear to see she's thinking hard. I can't push this, no matter how much I want to, but I do need to know how she's feeling. I need to know so I don't do something she doesn't want me to do. Like, do I remove her clothes? Does she prefer to do that herself? Is she self-conscious every time she undresses in front of the woman she's dating? The woman who's seen her naked more than once? I don't know any of the answers to my questions and I don't know where to begin when trying to figure them out.

"What's it like?" I ask, clearing my throat. "When you take off your clothes, how does it feel?"

"Weird." She says without looking at me. "Abnormal."

"Have you dated much since your surgery?"

"No, you're the first." She glances over her shoulder. "So, this feels different."

"Different, how?"

"The ones who saw me naked never came back." Eliza turns to face me. "I didn't have to worry about doing it a second time around with them, because I didn't see them again."

"None of them?"

"No." She shrugs, her eyes focusing on the floor. "You're the only one who's seen me naked and agreed to see me again."

"That's fucked up." I furrow my brow.

"It's not the end of the world." She gives me a small smile. "It became my normal so I didn't bother trying anymore."

"Come here." I hold out my hand and Eliza takes it, closing the distance between us.

"Arizona, I just need to know that you're okay with this." She stands in front of me. "I'd understand if you're not. I'd understand if you'd rather I kept my clothes on."

Standing, my body mere inches from Eliza's, my left hand settles on her hip, my right, working the buttons on her blouse. I can see the fear in her eyes but I'm not concerned. I'm not a small-minded asshole who believes the world is all the same, and I know we all come in our own unique way. I understand that no two people are the same.

"May I?" I pop the last button, her blouse falling open.

"Y-Yes." She clears her throat. "If you want to."

Simply nodding, a small smile curling on my lips, I slip her blouse from her shoulders and drop back down onto the edge of the bed. Gripping her ass, I pull Eliza closer to me and my lips find the silky smooth skin of her stomach.

"Gorgeous..." I smile, her stomach tightening with each move I make.

"Wow..." She breathes out, now straddling my legs, still standing.

"You know, being with you is like a dream," I say, my tongue trailing up the center of her stomach. "You make me feel alive, Eliza." Placing open-mouthed kisses all over her skin, I can feel her heart beating. "You make me feel like one day, everything will be good again."

"I know that feeling." Her fingers find my hair, gripping the back of my head. "It's how I feel when I'm with you."

"You make everything else seem like a distant memory in my life." I admit."The marriage. The wife. The person I'm supposed to be comes alive when you're here."

Popping the button on her black, form-fitting pants, her black lace panties are now on display only for me. I want nothing more than to touch her but I feel like I should take my time. I feel like everything will happen how it's supposed to.

Sliding them over her perfect ass, Eliza kicks off her heels and steps out of them as they drop to the floor. I know she wants this and I know she trusts me, but I'm still wary about doing anything she may not like. I have to remember she's been through a lot. I have to remember that right now, it isn't as simple as stripping her clothes off. In time, it will be normal for us, but for the time being, she's delicate. God, she melts my heart.

"God, you're incredible." The words fall from my mouth so naturally, effortlessly. Gliding my fingertips up the back of her thigh, I feel her knees weaken. "And I really need more of you..."

"I don't have much more to give." Her voice breaks.

"You have so much." Deciding to be bold, I climb to my feet and turn Eliza, her knees connecting with the edge of my bed. Pushing her down gently, nothing but her underwear covering her body, I stand back momentarily and smile, her body drawing me in more so than before.

Climbing between her legs, I feel her tense a little but I'm not worried. It's to be expected if this is the first time another woman has come back for seconds. I know it doesn't fee the same to Eliza but I'm glad they didn't. It means I'm blessed to have her. It means I'm her first in some crazy fucked up way. It mean...she's mine.

Curling my fingers around the waistband of her panties, I slip them down her thighs and throw them to the floor. Her skin dark and smooth, the palms of my hands trail back up her thighs and settle either side of Eliza's body. A tiny tuft of dark curls sitting perfectly above her beautiful sex, I dip my head and press a kiss to get thigh.

"If you want me to stop...you say the word, okay?"

"Feels too good..." She whimpers, her hands finding my hair.

"Hey..." Climbing up Eliza's body, our legs tangled, I brace myself above her on my left hand, my right teasing the skin of her stomach. "Tell me what you want."

"You." Her head buries deeper into the pillow. "Naked. With me."

Climbing off her, my yoga pants are gone quicker than ever before, my sweater now lifting over my head, landing in the corner of the room. Climbing back on top of the gorgeous brunette in my bed, her hands find my waist, pulling me down against her.

"I need to be naked, too." Her lips brush my ear. "All of me..."

"Yeah?" I pull back, smiling.

Watching as her fingers toy with the clasp on the front of her bra, it falls open and my eyes find Eliza's. Her eyes are like staring into heaven, they really are. I can see the pain behind them. Her experiences. The uncertainty about herself and her body. To me, though...to me, Eliza and her body are perfect. Every inch of it.

"Is this okay?" She asks, her voice trembling.

"Perfect." I lean down, kissing her. " _You_ are perfect."

Grinding my hips, and my sex against her, Eliza's wetness shocks me. She's soaked. Dripping, even. A low moan rumbling in her throat, I repeat the motion and her mouth falls open.

"Oh, god." Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, a smile settles on my mouth, my fingertips dipping between our bodies and gathering her arousal. "Shit."

"Fuck, that's hot." My own words more like a moan, my hand dips lower, toying with her entrance. "You're hot."

"A-Arizona." Her hips lift slightly. "Please..."

Shifting back, two fingers push deep inside her and her breath catches in her throat. I could spend my days watching her writhe on my bed, I really could. She's a masterpiece. An absolute goddess. "Fuck, you feel so good."

"Fuck." Gripping the sheet to the side of her body, I push deeper again, her walls throbbing around my fingers. Teasing her clit with my thumb, she trembles, her body begging for release.

"You wanna come..."

"God, yes." She whimpers. "All I've thought about is this moment with you again."

My left hand pushing deeper into the bed, I position myself over Eliza, sinking deeper with every thrust. Giving her body exactly what it desires. What it craves. What it needs. The first night I met her, I knew she was hot. I knew she was unbelievably gorgeous. Sharing a moment like this with her though, it's mind-blowing. This is nothing like what I've experienced with Suzanna, not in all the years we were together.

"I-I..."

"Let go, Eliza." My lips pressing against hers, my fingers don't lose their rhythm. My mind, totally focused on her, my arousal slipping down my thighs. "Fuck, I wanna feel you come."

"O-Oh." Her mouth falls open, our foreheads pressing together. "Don't stop." My pace increasing, the ability to move inside her isn't as easy as it once was.

"Shit, you're tight."

My words sending her body over the edge, her body trembles and shakes beneath me. Everything about her orgasm has me on the edge of my own but this isn't about me. It's about Eliza and feeling at ease with me. Whether that's clothed or naked, I need her to feel at ease.

"Oh god." My body dropping down on top of Eliza, her hands find my back and she holds me. She holds me like I've never been held before. "I feel like I can't get enough of you."

"T-Thank you." Her breathing evens out."F-For accepting me."

"Oh, Eliza." I lift my head, finding her eyes. "I wish you could see how beautiful you are…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	5. Chapter 5

**The first section of this fic, up to a point, is Eliza's POV as the last chapter happened. The rest is fresh, new stuff.**

 **You & I**

* * *

Five

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

This feeling. God, I have no words. Arizona is on top of me, and my body is about to experience another incredible high with her. It's emotional, but I'm trying to steer away from that. I'm trying to move past how intense this feels and go with it. I'm not sure she realises how much this means to me. I'm not sure she understands that I haven't shared this with another woman in a long time. Maybe she senses it, but I'm not so sure. I'm not sure of anything tonight. I wasn't supposed to be here. I wasn't supposed to be lying naked beneath her, my entire body on show.

I was supposed to be home. Alone. As usual. I was supposed to be preparing for another weekend of being single and miserable, my past forever in my mind. I'm not, though. I'm very much here and so is she.

"A-Arizona." My hips lift slightly. "Please..."

Two fingers pushing deep inside me, my breath catches in my throat.

"Fuck, you feel so good." _How does she do that?_ How does she make me feel so good? So alive? I've never felt this with another woman and I'm not sure I ever will again. Arizona is unique. Everything about her is different from another soul.

"Fuck." Gripping the sheet to the side of my body, Arizona sinks deeper, my walls throbbing around her. Teasing my clit, my body trembles.

"You wanna come..."

"God, yes." I whimper. "All I've thought about is this moment with you again."

Positioning herself over me, Arizona sinks deeper with every thrust. Giving me exactly what I need like she's known me for a lifetime. She knows what I crave. What I desire.

"I-I..."

"Let go, Eliza." Her lips finding mine, she doesn't once lose her rhythm. She doesn't once falter. She's focused on me completely, I can see it in her eyes. "Fuck, I wanna feel you come."

"O-Oh." My mouth falls open. "Don't stop." Arizona pace increases and I can feel her struggling to move inside me. This, this never happens.

"Shit, you're so tight."

Her words completely sending my world black, my body shakes and writhes beneath her. I know she's desperate for release too, but her focus is so on me that I'm not sure she knows what day it is. I'm not sure she's seeing or feeling anything, other than me.

"Oh god." She drops down on top of me and my hands find her back, holding her against me. "I feel like I can't get enough of you."

"T-Thank you." My breathing settles slightly. "F-For accepting me."

"Oh, Eliza." Arizona lifts her head, her eyes finding mine. "I wish you could see how beautiful you are..."

God, when she says things like that to me...it breaks my heart. In a good way, but compliments are few and far between for me lately. Since my surgery and since my life changed, compliments are unheard of. Arizona, though? Everything she says seems heartfelt. Honest. Whenever her beautiful mouth opens, my heart pounds at the thought of what she might say.

"Suzanna is going to freak, isn't she?"

"Honestly?" She raises her eyebrow. "Yeah, she probably will."

"And I'm going to mess everything up between you two." Giving Arizona a small smile, I sit up on my elbows, her lips begging to be kissed. I want to, but I also want to figure things out here. I know I want to see more of her, but at what cost? My job? Her weird messed up marriage? I don't know.

"I'm not worried, Eliza." She sits up, climbing off me. "If that makes you feel any better..."

"It does." I nod slowly. "I'm just not the type of person who does this."

"Does what?" She looks at me confused.

"Gets involved with a married woman." I clear my throat. "Sneaks around."

"It's not really the same thing, though. My marriage."

"I know, but you have a wife." I run my fingers through my hair, pulling the sheet up and covering my body. "I know you're not together, but it's still weird for me."

"I get that." Arizona agrees. "You're going to avoid me at the office, aren't you?"

"I have to." I shrug. "If this has to be a secret so I can see more of you, then what other choice do I have?"

"I hate this." Her voice breaks. "I hate her."

"I'm sure you don't." I shake my head. "If you hated her, you wouldn't do what you do for her."

"What you mean is...do I still love her?" Arizona scoffs. "That's what you're asking, right?"

"Well, I wasn't," I say. "But, do you?"

Silence. Nothing.

"I'd understand if you did." I dip my head to meet Arizona's eyes. "You didn't marry her for the sake of it..."

"No, I didn't marry her for the sake of it." She agrees. "But I also don't love her anymore."

"Because?"

"Because she's prevented me from leaving for too long. She's prevented me from having a relationship, or dating. She just...she's always there. Its like she can read my fucking mind."

"She doesn't like you dating..."

"No, she doesn't." Arizona admits."It's part of our agreement, but she doesn't like it. If I sleep around, she doesn't care...but once she knows I'm dating, she tries to stop it from happening."

"How?" I furrow my brow.

"She tells me she wants us to try again. Says she wants therapy. Anything she can say to make me stay. I don't know if she wants me to hang on forever, but I can't. I stopped loving her the moment I walked into her office to find her fucking another woman."

"While you were together?"

"No." Arizona clears her throat. "We were already separated, but walking in on that...seeing my wife naked with an intern, it broke my heart. I knew we were over and we had been for a few weeks, but it was how brazen she was about it. How she didn't care who could walk in..."

"Yeah, I get that." I give Arizona a sad smile. "That can't have been nice for you."

"The worst thing was, the intern knew we were married. Obviously, we were putting on an act, but I just looked like a fool." She laughs. "Then for it to look like I'd forgiven her and taken her back, I felt even more stupid than I already did."

"What does she have on you, Arizona?" I shift closer, taking her hand. "What hold does she have on you that's preventing you from leaving?"

"I did leave." She looks at me confused.

"Divorce." I state. "What's preventing you from divorcing her?"

"I don't know." She breathes out."She won't agree to it. Three times I've asked. Three times she's told me no. What's the point going through it all with a lawyer only to waste my time, and money, when she refuses again?"

"I don't know." I drop her hand. "This is all kinds of fucked up."

"Try living it..."

"Well, if this carries on between us...I will be living it."

"You don't want that, do you?

"Honestly, no," I say honestly. "But I want you so I have no other choice."

"You're sweet." Arizona blushes. "I don't want you to get caught up in this if it isn't what you want though, Eliza." She looks at me, seriousness in her eyes. "You've been through enough and I wouldn't ever do that to you. I wouldn't expect you to just go along with this."

"But if one day it's all worth it..."

"I'm not sure that day will ever come." She sighs, her shoulders slumping. "I've been waiting for it for over a year."

"I don't like your wife."

"No, me neither." She glances up, a smile forming on her soft pink lips. "Whatever happens, I want you to know that all those other women, they're worthless."

"No, they just couldn't handle it."

"It's not there for them to handle." Arizona wraps her arm around my shoulder and I relax against her. "It isn't their story and it's not their scars."

"Still." I shrug. "It wasn't what they wanted."

"Well, in some fucked up way, I'm glad about that." She presses a kiss to my forehead. "'Means I'm the one who gets to make you happy...I hope."

"One day at a time, yeah..."

"Sure." She nods, a slight sigh falling from her mouth. "Whatever you want to do."

"Hey, that's not what I mean." I tilt my head up, pressing my lips to hers. "I just want us to know what we're doing before we get hurt."

"I told you I wouldn't hurt you...and I stand by that."

"I know." My head rests against Arizona's chest. "But I don't know what she's going to do when she finds out, and right now, I don't want to know. I don't want to think about her."

"Think about us then." Arizona's soft fingers trail through my hair, her nails grazing my scalp. "I'd really like to spend some more time with you this weekend."

"I'd like that, too." I breathe out, my eyes closing. "I feel like I'm in my own perfect world when I'm with you."

"You know, I'm so happy you beat that shit you had in your body." Her arms tighten around me. "The thought of never meeting you..."

"I'm okay, Arizona." My hand settles on her naked stomach. "I'm really okay."

* * *

Waking to a bright sunlight, my eyes open fully and a smile settles on my mouth when I find Arizona's arm draped over my stomach, my scars on display. I'm still not completely comfortable with her seeing me like this and I should probably cover up before she wakes, but this feels too good right now. It feels too good and I really don't want to move from this position. Her hair, it's splayed across her pillow. If I focus on her lips properly, I can see a slight smile on her relaxed features. She's just beautiful. Gorgeous.

Last night, it meant everything to me. I thought the first night we spent together was amazing, but last night has only left me feeling stronger and more attached to Arizona. Sure, I know I'm setting myself up to get hurt, but it feels good having her in my life. It feels good waking beside her, knowing that her attention is on me. Knowing I have the day to get to know her better. It feels good and it feels right.

There's something in the way she touches me that tells me she's got me. That she's here to protect me. There's something in the way she looks at me when she's reassuring me that makes me want to fall completely in love with her. I know we have a long way to go in terms of anything serious, and I'm not thinking too hard about what could be, but it's hard not to allow myself a moment to think about it. It's hard because Arizona is everything I've ever wanted. Someone who appreciates me for who I am. Someone who doesn't look at me like I'm a freak or less than what they thought I was.

I thought I had it all three years ago when I met Ali, but it didn't work out. Once I found the lump, once I'd gone through every test they could put me through, she couldn't do it. She couldn't watch me go through the hardest time of my life. I don't hate her for that, but it did leave me feeling alone. Alone and wondering if I'd even make it through. I think the final step for her was when I came home from my appointment, the news I'd dreaded fresh in my mind. A double mastectomy. I'd lose a part of me. It would help to ensure my survival, but it would make everything else in my life really shit.

I've come to terms with it and I know it had to happen, but I do sometimes wonder what would be if that lump had never settled in my body. I wonder where I'd be now. Would I be married with kids? Would I have a home with a wife, the life I always dreamed about?

I'm not even sure if I can have kids anymore. Everything was a blur, and even though it was suggested I have my eggs frozen, I didn't. I didn't because my head was so full with the thoughts I was going to die, that freezing my eggs was the last thing I was thinking about. It's something I now regret, but I'm alive and whatever life throws my way, nothing will ever come close to waking up on the Sunday morning that I did, my hair falling out on my pillow. That feeling of never being the same again is still the most terrifying thought I have.

Brushing a tear that's slipped to my jawline, my eyes close and I give myself a moment to gather my thoughts. Arizona doesn't need to see this side of me, even if it does happen more than I'd like it to. At times, I think about the past...and the tears fall. I wish I wasn't so emotional, but I try not to see it as a downfall, even if it probably is. It's probably off-putting to anyone who meets me.

A sudden movement beside me, my eyes remain closed but a sensation on my skin causes me to furrow my brow. Glancing down, I find Arizona's lips pressed against the skin beneath what used to be my left breast. Nobody has been so close to my scars. Nobody has been above my waist since my surgery. The sensation, it's making me want to cry. It's making me want to sob.

"Waking up with you feels so good." Arizona's sleep filled voice sends a shiver down my spine.

"A-Arizona..."

"I could do this with you for the rest of my life..."

We don't know each other. We don't know the first thing about each others lives, but I understand what she's saying. I understand how she's feeling...because I feel it, too. That desperate need to be close, I totally get it. It's intense and it's frightening at times, but it feels real. Everything about lying here beside her feels more real than anything in my life.

"You're so gorgeous that I don't know what to say sometimes..."

"Wow." My words a whisper, a smile curls on my mouth as her blue eyes find mine, her lips trailing up between my scars.

"Can we stay like this today?" She asks, her lips finding my jawline. "Just like this?"

"Sounds perfect." I breathe out, my head burying deeper into the pillow beneath me.

"A little breakfast." She smiles against my neck. "Snuggles. I wanna know all there is to know about you..."

"I'm really not that interesting." I whimper.

"Mm, and I think that's a total lie..."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	6. Chapter 6

**You & I**

* * *

Six

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

My cell buzzing on the coffee table, I whine, reaching forward and taking it in my hands. Suzanna has been calling me for the last hour or so, but I have no intentions of answering her calls. Her texts. Anything. I'm spending the weekend with Eliza, and I don't need her interruptions. I don't need her to have an opinion or hand out her demands. She knows the weekends are my own and that's not about to change. Especially now that I have Eliza in my life. I know I should worry about doing this but I can't. It feels too good, too right, to worry.

Am I scared for Suzanna's reaction? Of course, I am. Am I concerned that she will try and ruin this for me? Every minute I spend with the woman beside me. I know I should just go with this and face everything else as and when it happens, but I've never felt this strongly about any other women. I've never allowed myself to get close, the fear of my wife ever present in my mind.

"You should probably take the call, Arizona."

"No, it's okay." I glance Eliza's way, an uncertain smile on her face. "I'm busy…"

"Well, you're not really." She shrugs. "Just take the call."

"No." I shake my head. "The moment I answer that call…I'll never get off the phone."

"Sure, yeah." She nods, her eyes focusing back on the tv in front of us.

A sudden pounding on the door, it startles us both and I swallow hard. "ARIZONA!" The sound of my wife's voice sending a shiver down my spine, Eliza gives me a worrying look and I lower the volume on the tv. I really don't want to do this tonight. I just want to relax with the new woman in my life.

"I know you're in there!" Suzanna yells. "Open the freaking door and stop being weird."

"Just open it." Eliza sighs. "I'll hide."

"Um, no…you won't." I scoff. "Why the hell would you hide?"

"Because I'm sitting on your couch in your clothes, Arizona." She replies. "The fact I'm even here is going to be obvious and I don't want to cause any trouble for you."

"No, you know what…" I stand. "She can fuck off." Approaching the door, I unlock it and pull it open. "What the hell do you want?" I spit, my wife's face dropping.

"Why are you avoiding my calls?" She asks.

"Because I'm busy." I sigh. "So, if you could leave…"

"No, we need to talk." Suzanna pushes past me and inside my home. "Oh, this is cozy." She laughs when she finds Eliza sitting on my couch, an old college tee covering her body and some very short shorts. "Evening, Miss. Minnick."

"H-Hi." Eliza clears her throat. "I'll just leave while you guys talk…"

"No, you won't." I push past my wife and take a seat beside Eliza. "What do you want?" I glance up at Suzanna.

"Well, I was coming here to explain that I may have been caught at the office yesterday but I'm sure Eliza told you all about it…"

"Yeah, she did." I smile, my hand settling on Eliza's knee. "So, if that's all you came here to say, you can leave now."

"This isn't how we do this, Arizona." Suzanna gives me a knowing look. "No colleagues, remember."

"Mm, but when it suits you it's okay, right?"

"Excuse me?"

"Beth." I roll my eyes. "She's your fucking assistant, Suzanna."

"This has nothing to do with me." My wife furrows her brow. "But this…between you both, it can't happen." She shakes her head.

"I'm filing for divorce." I stand. "I'll have my lawyer call you."

"You wouldn't." She laughs, her eyes narrowing.

"Watch me."

"Arizona, you need to think about this." Suzanna drags me into the kitchen. "You know I need this with you."

"I'm over it. I really am." Running my fingers through my hair, I rest back against the kitchen counter. "You may like the lifestyle people _believe_ you live, but I'm tired of the lying."

"Arizona, please?"

"No." I shake my head. "It stops now."

"But we have the gala coming up." She furrows her brow. "You know the Hewitt's love us."

"Well, they can love us separately." I smile. "I'm sure they couldn't give a fuck either way."

"No, you don't understand…" Suzanna sighs. "This. What we are…it works perfectly."

"And it will work just as well as it would if we were together." I roll my eyes. "Why are you so worried about what people think? We wouldn't be the first to divorce, Suzanna."

"I can't." She holds up her hands. "I have a reputation to protect. A reputation that includes you and I…married."

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?" I laugh. "Seriously?"

"Just…this gala, please?" Her eyes beg me. "The investment is too much to potentially lose."

"The last one," I state, giving her a knowing look. "I swear!"

"We'll discuss this another time." She says, smiling. "Just…keep this out of the office, okay?"

"Fuck you." I breathe out, stepping away from her. Reaching my living room, I find no sign of Eliza. The tv is still playing low, but Eliza…she's not here. "You're just intent on ruining my fucking life, aren't you?"

"What? No." Suzanna scoffs. "If she can't handle our arrangement, you shouldn't be together." Fixing her purse on her shoulder, my wife steps out of my apartment, the door closing.

"Eliza?" I call out. "You still here?"

"Yeah." She calls from the bedroom. "Just…getting my crap together."

"Wait." I head for my bedroom. "Don't leave, please?"

"I should." She gives me a sad smile. "This is wrong, Arizona. It really is."

"I've just told her I want a divorce," I reply. "I've just told her I want out of this."

"Mm, I'll believe that when I see it happening." She rolls her eyes. "Just…thanks for a great weekend."

"Eliza, wait!" I grip her wrist as she moves past me. "I don't want you to leave…"

"And I don't think I can be a part of this." Leaning in, she presses a kiss below my ear. "Thank you for being awesome."

Watching her walk away, I'd never force her to stay. I'd never expect her to just be fine with this. If it isn't what she wants, I have to respect that. She's right…Suzanna isn't going to take this lightly. I could see it in her eyes when I told her this was the last time. She has no intentions of divorcing me, but I'm not backing down. I want out, and I _will_ get what I want. Eliza, she's too good to lose.

* * *

Monday morning came around quicker than I thought it would, but now I'm trying to avoid my wife _and_ Eliza. Why? Because if I see her, I'll kiss her. I spent the rest of my Saturday night and entire Sunday thinking about her. Those hands on my skin. Her gorgeous body. I thought about her from the moment I woke, and I'm yet to remove her from my thoughts. I'm yet to enter the real world.

"There you are." Suzanna approaches me. "Can we talk in my office?"

"Busy, sorry." I keep walking towards my own office. "Make an appointment."

"You're my wife." She laughs. "I'm not going to do that."

"No." I stop. "I'm not your wife. I'm your fucking toy who's been foolish enough to give you what you want."

"Arizona." She scowls. "Not here!"

"Oh, bite me." I scoff. "I don't care what you have to say, I really don't."

"I've booked a car to pick us up Friday night." She says. "Seven."

"Whatever." I shrug. "I've called my lawyer. She's having the papers drawn up."

"Wow, you're really serious…"

"Dead serious." Rounding the corner, I'm thankful when my wife's presence disappears. Coming face to face with Eliza's office, I knock, waiting to be called inside. I wasn't planning to see her today, but knowing she's here…it's hard to avoid her. Knowing she's here, it makes me want her more.

"Come in…"

"Hey." I push the door open, stepping inside.

"Mrs. Robbins." She smiles. "Can I help you?"

"Please, don't call me that." I drop my gaze, bile rising in my throat.

"What should I call you?" I find Eliza's eyes, her brow furrowed.

"Just…Arizona." I reply. "Can I take you to dinner Saturday night?"

"Sorry, I can't." She focuses on the screen in front of her. "You have the gala Friday, right?"

"Yeah." I close the door.

"So, you want to take me to dinner the night after you've spent the evening with your wife?" She arches her eyebrow. "No thanks."

"Don't say it like that." I fold my arms across my chest. "Don't make it sound like she means something to me. You know she doesn't."

"I'm not doing this." Eliza stands, rounding her desk. "Can you leave, please?"

"No." I clear my throat. "I can't." Resting back against the door as Eliza attempts to open it, I flick the lock. "I want to talk…"

"And I don't, so please respect that…"

"Please?" My eyes fill with tears. "I really want to see you again."

"What part of no don't you understand, Arizona?" She asks. "Why can't you just get on with your life, and I'll do the same?"

"Because I have no fucking life." I scoff. "I felt like I did when I was with you, though."

"How sweet." She rolls her eyes. "I have a busy day so I should really get on with what you and your _wife_ employed me to do…"

"I really wish you wouldn't do that." I approach her but she backs up. "She's nothing compared to you…"

"Stop." She holds up her hand. "Stop with your bullshit comments…"

"You think I don't mean what I say to you?" My forehead creases. "You think I'm talking shit?"

"Yeah, I do." Eliza drops her gaze, my fingers curling under her chin. "Arizona…"

"Look at me…" My voice softens. "Please?"

Her eyes finding mine, my breath is stolen by her incredible beauty.

"That night I spent with you…" I lean in, my lips mere millimeters away from hers. "That night was one of the greatest of my life…"

"Y-You don't mean that," Eliza whispers, my hands settling either side of her head against the wall.

"I mean it." My body presses against hers. "How you gave yourself to me…fuck." My breath washing over the side of her face, I take her earlobe between my teeth. "I'm divorcing that bitch. I want _you_ too much…"

"Fuck." Eliza's voice barely audible, her chest heaves. "A-Arizona…"

"I thought about you since the moment you left," I admit. "Fuck, I want you more than you could ever imagine."

"Arizona, stop." She whimpers. "S-She said we had to keep it out of the office."

"And I don't care what she says…" I smile against the skin of Eliza's neck. "I care about how good you touch me. How fucking gorgeous you are."

"O-Oh." My hand slips up her thigh and beneath her skirt. "S-Shit."

"You know what you want…" I moan, cupping her sex through her panties. "And I know what I want…" Sucking on her pulse point, Eliza gasps, eliciting another moan from me. "Do you have any idea how wet I am for you?"

"Fucking hell…" Eliza's head falls back, granting me better access to her gorgeous neck, that incredible jawline. "Shit…"

"You're soaked." My lips curl into a smile. "Right?"

"I-I…" Pushing her panties to one side, a single finger trails her slick folds. The heat, it's intense. "O-o…"

"Eliza…" I capture her lips. "We should really continue this."

"Y-Yes." Her mouth falls open as I push a single finger inside her.

"What's that?" I pull back, smirking.

"J-Just…" Sinking down onto my hand, I slip another finger inside her, the moan rumbling in her throat almost too much to take. "Shit, yes."

"You'll have dinner with me Saturday?" My tongue trails Eliza's bottom lip. "Right?"

"Y-Yes." She nods, slightly. "Whatever you want…"

"I want _you_ ," I say without hesitation. "The sooner you realize that the sooner we can get this show on the road…"

Teasing her swollen clit with my thumb, she captures my lips. I know she's trying to silence her moans but honestly, I hope Suzanna _does_ hear us. I hope she hears everything and realizes that I'm not taking her shit anymore.

"How tight you are…" I bite down on Eliza's bottom lip. "Fuck, it's mind-blowing."

"O-Oh, I, ugh…" Sinking deeper, my thumb presses harder against Eliza's clit, her orgasm fast approaching. "Shit, I'm coming…" Her mouth falling open, I pull back, watching this gorgeous brunette come undone for me. "Yes, don't stop." Wrapping her leg around my waist, Eliza bucks and writhes against me, my own panties now ruined.

"Fuck, you feel good." I crush my lips into hers. "So fucking good." Her hips slowing, I drag my fingers down her walls, curling them and hitting that perfect spot.

"What the hell are you doing to me?" She asks, her head buried in the crook of my neck.

"I'm trying to show you that we're supposed to do this." My fingers run through Eliza's hair. "I'm trying to show you that this, it's right…"

"I'm making a huge mistake." She sighs, her body molding into mine. "Probably the biggest mistake of my life…"

"Let me show you that you're not." I smile into a kiss as she lifts her head. "Let me show you that I can make you happy, Eliza."

"I don't want her involved in this." Our foreheads press together. "I hate knowing she has some kind of control over you…"

"I know…"

"I hate knowing she's going to grab your full attention at the gala on Friday. That she'll hold your hand. Kiss you."

"She won't." My thumb grazes Eliza's tear-stained cheek. "She won't get that close."

"I wish I could believe that." She sighs.

"Then you should." I smile, pressing my lips against her. "Because I'd never lie to you. I'd never intentionally hurt you."

"I know…"

"If anything does happen, which it won't, I'd tell you," I say, my eyes studying her gorgeous face. "I'd tell you in a heartbeat."

"You're really divorcing?"

"Aside from giving you all my time and attention, it's the only thing on my mind…"

The sound of a light knocking on Eliza's office door pulling us apart, she fixes herself up and makes herself look a little more presentable. My hand still between her legs, I gather her arousal and slip my fingers from beneath her skirt and into my mouth. "God, you taste so good."

"Sweet Jesus." Eliza looks up to the ceiling. "I can't handle you…"

Clearing my throat, I step back and unlock the door. Pulling it open, I find Suzanna waiting on the other side, anger written all over her face. "Um, can I help you?" I smirk. "Kinda feel like you have no reason to be here right now..."

"What did I tell you?" She spits. "Not at the office!"

"Pretty sure I told you I don't give a fuck." Licking my lips, my wife focuses her eyes on my actions, disgust now evident in them. "See you tonight, Eliza." I lean in, pressing a kiss below her ear. "I could spend my life with the taste of you on my lips…"

"Goodbye, honey." I say sarcastically as Suzanna stares me down. I roll my eyes, stepping past my wife. "I'd kiss you too, but well...you just never know where my mouth has been."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	7. Chapter 7

**You & I**

* * *

Seven

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _Another hour and I'm out of here._

Pushing the papers around my desk, I've been entranced for the last couple of hours, trying desperately to complete the work I'm behind on. I mean, I'm not really behind, but it's Thursday and if I want the weekend to myself, I have to finish up here. I'm out of the office early tomorrow since Arizona and Suzanna have that freaking gala, and even though I'm trying to not think about it, it's not that simple. I've seen her once this week at home, but it's not enough. It's also not enough having her at times, while Suzanna gets her the rest of the week.

I know there's nothing between them, but I want her attention on me. Fully. Not only when she's available. Not sneaking off to get ten minutes together on a different floor, or locked away in here. Suzanna already hates me since she kinda caught us on Monday, but Arizona tells me everything will be okay. I'm not convinced, and I'm fully expecting her to go batshit crazy at some point, but I'm focusing my mind on the good in my life. I'm focusing on my job, and the sweetest woman I've ever met.

Glancing up, I find a presence in my doorway. A hostile presence. "Suzanna, is everything okay?"

"Sure." She steps inside, closing the door. "You seem to be on track here…"

"Yeah, almost finished for the day." I smile, removing my glasses. "Did you need something?"

"Yes." She nods. "I need the last five years worth of financial reports…"

"Oh, uh…now?" I furrow my brow. "It will take me all night to get them to you."

"Then you'd better get cracking." She gives me a sarcastic smile. "No time like the present, right?"

"But I have plans." My forehead creases. "You can't just drop that on me and expect it here and now."

"Cancel your plans." She shrugs as she backs up. "You work _me_ for me now, Eliza. I don't know who you answered to at your last position, but I don't take shit. When I want something, I get it."

"Right, yeah." I sigh. "Should I bring them by when I have it all together?"

"Just leave them on my desk. I'm headed home."

"So, you don't _actually_ need them?" I roll my eyes. "You just want me at the office later?"

"Whatever keeps your hands off my wife…" Disappearing, my mouth hangs open. I can't believe this woman. I'm not a bad person and I'd certainly never do anything to step on anyone's toes, but they're not together. The sooner she realizes that the sooner she can take the stick out of her ass.

Taking my cell from the desk beside me, I pull up a new message thread, my anger beginning to get the better of me.

 ** _E: Have to work late. See you Saturday._**

 ** _A: Work late? For what?_**

 ** _E: No idea._**

Locking my cell, I decide to leave the work I was doing and tackle the work Suzanna wants. I know she has no use for it and I know it's only going to be trashed or shredded, but if it keeps her happy and out of my hair, I'll do it. It means I won't see Arizona, but I know this is how it's going to be. Suzanna and her games. Suzanna and what she wants. The freaking world…it revolves around that fucking woman.

"Hey!" Arizona pulls me from my thoughts, breathless. "What's going on?"

"Just doing as I'm asked." I give her a sad smile. "Why are you out of breath?"

"I ran here…" She shrugs.

"In those heels?" I arch an eyebrow. "Jesus…"

"Never mind the heels." Arizona closes the door behind her. "Why are you working late?"

"Because Suzanna asked me to…"

"No." She laughs, shaking her head. "Not happening."

"Arizona, just leave it." I sigh, settling back in my seat. "It's no big deal."

"No, this is what she does." Arizona scoffs. "There is no way she's getting away with this." Motioning for me to stand, I do as she asks and approach Arizona. "Come with me…"

"Where to?"

"Just…come with me, please?" She pleads. "I had plans for us tonight and I really need that to still happen…"

"Arizona." I breathe out as she takes my hand, guiding me out of my office. "This is only going to antagonize her."

Rounding the corner, the long corridor which leads to Suzanna's office comes into view. I understand that Arizona and her wife are forever fighting, but I don't want to be a part of it. If I have to work late to shut the boss up, then I will. Shrugging my hand out of Arizona's when we come into full view of the rest of the office, I clear my throat and give her a sad smile. "People will see…"

"I don't give a fuck." She shrugs, pushing her wife's office door open.

"Arizona, hi." Suzanna slips her jacket over her shoulders. "What can I do for you?"

"Eliza has to work late?"

"Oh, yeah." Her wife nods. "I figured since she's busy, you and I could head out to dinner. Fix this mess you seem to have gotten us into…"

"Fix what mess?" Arizona asks.

"You want a divorce, no?"

"Oh, I want a divorce." She agrees. "That won't change."

"Then we will discuss it over dinner tonight…"

"Nope." Arizona shakes her head, disagreeing. "I have plans tonight. I'm not dropping everything for you. Rearrange!"

"Will you keep your fucking voice down!" Suzanna scowls. "Whatever you're trying to do…just stop, Arizona."

"Do you or do you not need Eliza to work tonight?"

"I do," Suzanna says, grabbing her purse. "She knows what I need…"

"Bullshit!" Arizona steps back out of Suzanna's office, bumping into me as she does. "Hey, Beth!" She yells over the other side of the room, Suzanna's assistant now standing. "Take my wife off my hands…she needs some fucking stress relief!"

"ARIZONA!" Suzanna whispers. "Stop!"

"Scared they'll all know?" Arizona smirks, stepping closer to her wife. "Worried about your perfect little life?"

"Just stop."

"Just fuck off!" Gripping my hand, Arizona drags me back down the corridor we came from and releases me when I reach my office. "Grab your stuff, we're out of here."

"Arizona, what the hell did you just do?"

"Take my life back." She says, leaving no room for discussion. "That's _exactly_ what I just did."

"She's going to hit the fucking roof." I laugh, nervously. Turning my back, I take my purse from the floor and pull my jacket from the back of my seat. "All hell is about to break loose…"

"Will I have you at the end of it?" Arizona's hand settles on the small of my back as I turn to face her. "Will you be mine when this is all over?"

"God, I hope so…"

"Then she can go as crazy as she wants. I'm not here for it." Pulling me into her body, Arizona kisses me hard, moaning into my mouth. "I only care about you and I, Eliza. Don't ever forget that."

* * *

Sitting on Arizona's couch, I have a bad feeling about what's just happened at the office. I know she's tired of living the life she does, but I'd like to have a job at the end of this. If she continues to piss her wife off at every given opportunity, I'm not likely to have one come Monday morning. Suzanna strikes me as the type of woman who does as she pleases, so I know my job isn't safe. I know she will fire me the moment I look at her the wrong way.

"You doing okay?" Arizona leans down behind me, pressing a kiss below my ear. "I know you didn't want that to happen before, but I'm tired of her…"

"I get that." I nod. "But I don't have the option of being fired, Arizona."

"You won't be fired." She says, certainty in her voice. "I wouldn't let that happen."

"Honestly, I'm not sure your words mean anything to your wife…"

"Please, stop calling her my wife." She sighs, climbing over the back of the couch, dropping down beside me. "She hasn't been my wife in a long time…"

"She kinda is, though."

"I know, but not through choice."

"You _always_ have a choice, Arizona." I run my fingers through my hair. "Why didn't you ever force the divorce through?"

"It was easier to just separate." She shrugs, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I mean, I'd never been in a position where I _needed_ the divorce, so I just let it lie."

"So, what's changed?"

"You." She gives me one of her full, dimpled smiles. "You came into my life and turned it upside down."

"And you're _that_ confident about us?" I ask, my eyebrow raised. "You believe I'm the one for you?"

"For sure." She takes my hand. "You know how I feel about you, Eliza."

"I know, but I want you to know what you're doing. I don't want you to make a mistake with all this."

"You're not a mistake." Arizona squeezes my hand. "You're exactly what I've been waiting for…"

"I just think you need to really think this through, Arizona." Of course, I want nothing more than for her to choose me, but I'm not sure it's that easy. If I thought it was, I'd jump at the opportunity to be with her, but she has a life here. A life, a wife, a business. I don't want to come in and ruin it all for her, no matter how quickly I can feel myself falling.

"Hey…" She shifts, straddling my legs. "I want you, Eliza."

"I know but it's not that simple." My voice breaks. "I mean, can you imagine how she will react when she finds out about my past?" I laugh. "She will have a ton of fun with that…"

"Why would she find out about your past?" Arizona's forehead creases. "And even if she did, it isn't her business. Just like it's not mine…"

"Oh, come on." I roll my eyes. "She's going to love this."

"What?"

"Me…my body." I laugh again. "She's already superior to me. She's going to have a world of fun when she realizes you've downgraded to someone like me. I don't want to put you through that."

"Don't ever say that again." Arizona leans in, her lips pressing against mine. "Don't ever see yourself as less than her. You…god, you're so much more than she could ever be."

"That's sweet…" I smile as Arizona pulls back. "But it's also not true."

"Eliza…"

"Don't, Arizona." I hold up my hand between us. "Don't try to defend me or what I'm _not_."

"Huh?"

"I know what I am. I know I could never compare to the women of New York City. I know, but I'm okay with it. I always have been and I always will be…"

"That's complete lies." Her hand settles on the side of my face. "You know, given half the chance…I'd leave this city behind and run away with you."

"Yeah?" I lean into her touch.

"Without any hesitation." She whispers, her lips inching closer. "You've totally stolen me, Eliza. Nothing Suzanna says or does could ever change that. Nothing could _ever_ pull me away from you."

"I wish that were true…"

"If she threatened to take the business from me…I'd give it to her. I'd hand it over in a heartbeat."

"ARIZONA!" A pounding on the door startling us both, Arizona rolls her eyes and climbs from my lap. "Open the fucking door!"

"Fucking relax!" She yells, pulling the door open. "The next time you come here hammering on my door, I'm actually going to strangle you, Suzanna."

"What the hell was that back at the office?" She pushes past Arizona and the door slams shut. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I'm the woman who's tired of your shit. I'm the woman who was once foolish enough to become your wife…but I'm now done."

"This is you, isn't it!" She points my way. "Why can't you leave well enough alone?"

"Huh?" I switch my gaze between them both.

"She was quite happy living how she was." Suzanna scoffs. "Then you come on in here, flaunting yourself and making her salivate."

"Um, that isn't what happened." I shake my head. "I met her out of town. I had no idea she was married."

"Well now you do, so why don't you back off?"

"B-Because Arizona doesn't want that." I furrow my brow. "S-She isn't your wife anymore."

"Don't dare tell me what she is!" Suzanna approaches me and I stand from the couch. "You may be fucking her all over the office, but she's legally _my_ wife."

"Mm, but she's not fucking _you_ anymore is she?"

A sudden sharp slap across my face shocking me back into the room, I've totally overstepped, I know I have. I knew this was all going to go horribly wrong and it just did. Suzanna has just made it perfectly clear how low I am in her business.

"Touch her again and I swear to god." Arizona steps between Suzanna and I.

"Sorry, I-I'll go." Feeling my emotions get the better of me, I pick my purse up and step past Arizona. "Sorry, just…I'm sorry."

"Eliza, don't dare leave." Arizona grips my wrist, pulling me back against her. "Get out!" She spits, her attention now fixed on her wife. "Get the fuck out of my home."

"You're ridiculous." Suzanna laughs. "You're willing to fuck up our arrangement so you can play happy couples with her?" She looks at me with disgust. "I mean, you could've chosen someone who was _all_ woman, Arizona."

"What the fuck did you just say?" Pushing her wife through her home, her body connects with the door. "Huh?"

"Maybe you could pay for her reconstructive surgery." She laughs. "Maybe that's why she's here. Don't you see the dollar signs in her eyes?"

My mouth falling open, I can't believe what I'm hearing. I knew she was a bitch but for another woman to say that to me, to insinuate that I'm here for Arizona's money, her wealth, it's sickening.

"I need to leave." My voice barely audible, I feel like I'm underwater. Nothing seems real but I know I need to leave. That's a no-brainer. "Goodbye, Arizona."

"Eliza…"

"I, uh…thanks for the opportunity at the office but I can no longer fill the position." Holding out my hand, Suzanna takes it in her own and shakes. "Good luck with the future of your business."

"You're leaving?" My boss stares at me.

"Don't leave." Arizona closes the distance between us but I back away.

"I think it would be best." I nod, switching my eyes to Suzanna. "You may be under the impression that I'm here to get a new pair of tits, but I'm really not." I shake my head. "I've been through enough to last me a lifetime and I can't work with you. Not when you have a nasty attitude and a bland personality to match."

"Calm down, Eliza." Suzanna rolls her eyes. "Don't be so sensitive."

"Arizona, I hope this all works out for you." I give her a genuine smile, unshed tears in both of our eyes. "Don't let her control you forever. You deserve more than that."

Stepping out into the corridor, I release a deep breath. I don't like what's just happened in Arizona's apartment but this is the right thing to do. Getting out of a potentially toxic relationship will always be the right thing to do. I can't be with Arizona while Suzanna is around. No matter how little she cares for her wife, I can't be a part of it. It was only a matter of time before she said those things to me, and now that I've confirmed just what kind of woman Suzanna is, I can walk away with the knowledge that I'll never have to see her again.

 _Arizona, though…I'll miss her._

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	8. Chapter 8

**You & I**

* * *

Eight

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

My blood is boiling. I know what a bitch Suzanna can be, but what she did last night? No, that was abhorrent. It was pure venom on her part. I kicked her ass out the moment Eliza left, no amount of grovelling could ever make me forgive her for what she said, or did. I mean, she slapped her. Eliza. She slapped her and I wanted nothing more than to kick her ass to the floor. I wanted to strangle the bitch.

I've been calling Eliza repeatedly since last night but she won't pick up. She doesn't want to speak to me and I don't blame her. I don't blame her for leaving her job, or never wanting to see me again. I'd go to her place, but I know she's a private person. I know she wouldn't like me to just show up there. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do, so I guess I have to wait it out, hoping that one day she'll forgive me…and contact me.

I've left her numerous messages apologizing for Suzanna's behavior, but I'm not sure they'd even register with her. Im not sure she cares about anything I have to say. Why? Because I'm married to that complete bitch. I'm married to the fucking devil. I allowed her into my space when Eliza was here and look at the outcome. I'm alone, without anything from her, about to leave for a fucking gala with the woman who's intent on ruining my life.

I've been waiting outside my apartment for the last ten minutes and Suzanna is late. This is typical her, though. So long as she's ready and prepared, fuck everyone else. Usually, I'd feel hot. Usually, I'd be ready for a gala…flirting with the creepy guys who can't take their eyes off the women in the room. Tonight though, tonight I'm just about ready to murder someone…the likelihood of it being my fucking wife.

Watching as our usual car pulls up next to the sidewalk, I straighten myself out and the door opens. Climbing inside, I thank the driver, totally dismissing the fact that my wife is sitting beside me. I can feel her watching me, but I'm not entertaining her. I'm not humoring her. It's what she wants and I'm just about sick and tired of giving her what she wants.

"You look gorgeous…"

 _I know I do._

Ignoring the fact that she's just spoken to me, my eyes focus on the streets of New York as we head down the street and take a right. I should be settling down with Eliza, not sitting here with probably the only woman in the world that I actually hate.

"You're not speaking to me…"

"Fucking hell…you're quick off the mark tonight." Rolling my eyes as I glance Suzanna's way momentarily, I shake my head and release a deep breath.

"Arizona, can we not do this?"

"Do what?" I ask, facing her better.

"This. The hostility. The smart ass comments."

"I just want to get this over and done with so I can head home and enjoy a bottle of wine."

"With Eliza?" She asks, her eyebrow raised.

"No, not with Eliza." I shift in my seat a little. "You fucked that chance for me…like you usually do."

"She's not your type." Suzanna shakes her head. "She's _so_ not your type."

"Don't speak about her." I hold up my hand. "You don't have that right."

"Why did you choose her?" She asks. "Was it sympathy?"

"Excuse me?" I give Suzanna an incredulous look.

"The cancer…" She rolls her eyes like it means nothing. "How could you sleep with her, you know?"

"No, I don't know." I focus on her eyes. "Enlighten me…"

"Isn't it weird?" She wrinkles her nose. "I mean, I know how much you love a good pair of boobs," Suzanna smirks. "I didn't have mine done for nothing…"

"You had yours done because you're the vainest bitch on this planet." I laugh. "It had nothing to do with what I wanted. It never does."

"Still, you haven't answered my question." Suzanna shrugs.

"I'm not ever going to answer that question." I scoff. "You make me sick."

"Now now, honey." She settles her hand on my thigh. "Let's remember who you're speaking to…"

"I can't stay long…" I relax back in my seat.

"Can't stay long?" She says. "You'll be here for the duration."

"Yeah?" I smile, my eyebrow raised. "I don't fucking think so…"

"Arizona, you're being pathetic now." Suzanna slips her hand further up my thigh. "Do I need to make you feel better?"

"That hand moves any further and I'll fucking break it!" Gripping her wrist, I lift her hand and force it away. "This. It ends now."

"I don't think so, honey."

"You really think I wouldn't?" I ask, our car coming to a stop. "You really think I'm going to continue this with you?"

"You need me too much, sweetie."

Deciding that my silence is the best thing for me right now, I simply nod and turn away, a smirk forming on my mouth. I'm giving this gala one hour, and then I'm gone. Tomorrow, I call my lawyer to serve my wife. Tomorrow, the beginning of the end of our marriage will finally happen. Suzanna thinks I won't do it, but I'm more than sure I'm ready. I have been since the moment we separated. Now, I just need to hope and pray that Eliza will one day hear me out. See me. Hold a conversation with me. If she doesn't, at least I'll still be free. If she doesn't, I only have myself to blame.

—-

"Thank you, James." I smile, sipping my champagne. "It's great having you on the board."

"Yes, your wife thinks so, too." He smiles. "It wouldn't be the cash injection talking now, would it?"

"My wife?" I furrow my brow.

"Suzanna?" He gives me a look of confusion. "The woman you're here with this evening…"

"Oh, she's not my wife." I laugh, waving off his comment. "We're separated. Have been for some time."

"Hmm, really?" James asks. "I wasn't aware of that."

"Are you supposed to be?" I narrow my eyes. "I mean, our private life doesn't have any bearing on the business…"

"Of course not." He nods slowly. "Suzanna kept your separation quiet, though."

"Yeah, it's what she does best." I smile. "Anyway, I should go mingle." Rolling my eyes, I move through the crowd, my eyes landing on Suzanna. Stepping up behind her, I clear my throat. "I'm leaving…"

"Nonsense." She leans in close, pressing a kiss below my ear. "Arizona…meet Paul." He holds out his hand, taking mine. "Paul, my wife…Arizona."

"Ex-wife," I state. "Soon to be, anyway."

"O-Oh." Paul clears his throat.

"Arizona." Suzanna grips my waist, warning me. "Excuse us for a moment, Paul."

"Of course, yes." He smiles, awkwardly. "Lovely to meet you, Arizona."

"Yes, you too." Smiling sarcastically, Suzanna drags me through the crowd and out onto a balcony. "Get your fucking hands off me." I push her away.

"I'm warning you." She points in my face. "Don't fucking test me."

"I'm leaving." I push past her but she grips my wrist, spinning me around. "Suzanna."

"You stop this behavior now." She spits. "You're making me look a fool."

"Oh, you do that all by yourself." I shrug her hand from my wrist. "No more galas. No more dinners. Nothing. I'm done. Goodnight."

Leaving her standing on the balcony, I breathe a sigh of relief as I move through the crowd and towards the exit of the exquisite building I've spent my evening in so far. I can't stay here any longer. Every time she introduces me to someone, I want to throw up. Every time she touches me, I want to punch her. The sooner I leave this place the sooner the stress will leave my body.

Fixing my dress on my thighs a little better, my heels click against the marble flooring as I head for the street. Our car is waiting for us, so why not make full use of it? Suzanna, she can walk for all I care.

—-

I've been standing on the street for the last thirty minutes. I don't know why I'm here and I don't know why I asked our driver to even head this way, but I'm looking up at Eliza's apartment block and my heart is in my mouth. She's home, I can see the lights inside her place flickering, but that doesn't mean my being here is welcome.

Pressing different buzzers on the wall beside me, I avoid her apartment number, hoping someone will just let me inside. Isn't that what usually happens in movies? Gasping when the door clicks, I push my way inside and head for the elevator. I've never been to Eliza's place but I may have kept her address from the employee records at the office. Sure, she won't like it, but in this moment…I don't care. I just need to see her. Her face. Her smile. Those gorgeous eyes.

Double checking the address I have for her, I step inside the carriage and press the button for the required floor. I'm not hoping for much but seeing her...being in her presence, that's enough for me right now. I need something familiar and Eliza is the only familiarity I feel I have in my life lately.

Releasing a deep breath when the doors open and I step into the corridor, I glance around, finding the apartment holding the only woman I ever want in my life. The only woman who looks at me like I matter. Eliza Minnick has done something to me that I can't quite explain.

Trying to remove the tension from my body, I step up to the hardwood in front of me and knock a little louder than is probably acceptable. Glancing down my body, I'm hardly dressed for the occasion but I don't care. My tight black dress that sits mid thigh usually looks good on me, but nothing feels good tonight. My heels included. The sound of the lock on the door sliding, my heart pounds in my ears.

"H-Hi." I stutter as Eliza's gorgeous face comes into view. "Sorry I just came here but I needed to see you..."

"Arizona." She breathes out. "Wow." Her eyes trailing my body, a small smile curls on my mouth before her eyes return to mine. "I mean, why are you here?"

"Could we talk?"

"No, that's not a good idea." Eliza shakes her head.

"She said some really hurtful things to you, I understand that...but it's not what I think." I step closer. "I don't think any of the things she said."

"I just..." Sighing, she drops her gaze.

"Did she hurt you?" I study Eliza's face, thankful Suzanna hasn't left a mark on her gorgeous skin. "Is your face okay?"

"My face is fine." She nods, unable to look at me. "I shouldn't have said what I did. I deserved that."

"No, you didn't." I furrow my brow. "You didn't deserve any of what she said and you certainly didn't deserve what she did."

"I told you this would happen." She gives me a sad smile. "I told you it was a bad idea."

"I left the gala," I say, my voice low and unsure. "To come here."

"You should go back." The door begins to close. "I'll get my stuff from the office on Monday and then you won't have to see me again."

"That's not what I want." I hold the door. "I understand you don't want to work at the office anymore, but I still want to see you."

"We can't, Arizona."

"Why? Because she said so?" My forehead creases. "What about what we want?"

"I just want to live my life without other people's drama. I have enough of my own."

"I'm not here to bring drama." I hold up my hands. "Even if it seems like it, I'm really not."

"Arizona..."

"Okay." I nod, wrapping my arms around myself. "Just...take care, Eliza." I give her a small genuine smile. "I know what I want and I know it's you. You're the only woman who's made me feel like I could have the world if I want it, but I understand what we had was ruined when she said and done what she did." A tear slips from my eye. "I'd like to ask that we could be friends but I can't. I need more than friendship with you." I release a deep breath. "So, I'll leave. I'll have someone get your things together and deliver them here. You don't have to see me or Suzanna that way. Just...makes it easier for you." I shrug. "If you need a letter of recommendation..."

"Thanks." Eliza nods, her eyes focused on the floor between us.

"I'm sorry I hurt you." Turning and leaving, I feel like the ultimate bitch. I know this isn't my fault but I guess in some way, it is. I'm the one who stayed for so long and I'm the one who pursued Eliza, knowing Suzanna wouldn't like it. So, yeah...this lies with me.

"You didn't," Eliza calls down the corridor.

"Huh?"

"You didn't hurt me." She smiles, weakly. "I'm the one who got involved. I'm the one who involved myself with a married woman."

"I'm calling my lawyer in the morning," I say. "To start proceedings..."

"I hope it all works out for you." Eliza has a look in her eyes that mirrors how I'm feeling. "Just...I have something that belongs to you. Give me a moment?"

"Sure." I agree, moving towards her apartment again.

Waiting outside, as much as I want to head in there, I hear her bare feet against her wood flooring and a smile settles on my mouth. Even the sound of her walking towards me leaves me lightheaded. That's just how much I'm into her. Pathetic, I know, but I haven't felt anything like this ever before. Not even when my marriage was good.

"Here." She hands over my old college tee. "I know it's your favorite."

"T-Thanks." I bring it up to my nose, inhaling deeply. "It smells of you." My eyes close, tears slipping from them and connecting with the soft, worn material. "God..."

"Don't cry." Her hand settles on my bare shoulder. "You'll be fine."

"I just..." Shaking my head, I control my emotions. "I wanted to fall hopelessly in love with you." My voice breaks. "I need you to know that."

"Maybe in another life..."

"Yeah. Maybe." I nod. "Goodnight, Eliza." I step forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You're so beautiful. Don't ever forget that."

Tears falling down her own face, I brush them away with my thumb and she leans into my touch. I know she doesn't want me to leave. I can feel it between us. That craving I have, she feels it too. The desperate need to be close, I'm sensing it.

"I don't want to leave." My words barely above a whisper, her lips part and her eyes close. "Please, don't ask me to leave..."

"We can't do this anymore." She cries. "As much as I want you, we can't."

"I think about you every moment of the day," I admit. "Whatever I'm doing, my mind is always on you. It's hard not to be." I smile. "Seeing you around the office...it makes me want an entire world with you, Eliza."

"Oh god." Her hand settles on mine against her face.

"Tell me what to do, Eliza." I press my body against hers, my left arm wrapping around her waist. "You know exactly where I want to be...but this is on you." Her head resting against my chest, she holds me close. "Do what _you_ want..."

"Stay..."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	9. Chapter 9

**You & I**

* * *

Nine

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

What the hell am I doing? Arizona is at my place and I've asked her to stay. She _shouldn't_ be here. _We_ shouldn't be together. Just…I struggle. To pull myself away from her, I struggle. I know deep down that continuing this with Arizona is a mistake, but I don't know how to detach myself from her. I mean, life would've been easy if she'd been a bitch who didn't care about me, but she does…she cares more than anyone in this world ever has. She cares and she made the effort to come here tonight, apologising on behalf of her wife. It takes a special kind of person to do that. At least, that's how I feel.

She's standing in my kitchen, looking unsure, but I feel the same. I feel like the moment I kiss her, touch her, it'll all fall apart again. It's going to happen, I can feel it. I can feel that undeniable fear in the pit of my stomach, churning, the bile almost rising in my throat.

I want to touch her. I want to hold Arizona and never let her go, but I can't. I may have asked her to stay when she was about to leave just moments ago, but now I'm back to the beginning. Feeling unsure. Feeling worthless. Feeling like the cancer victim I'll always be. Survivor or not. The things Suzanna said to me cut deeper than anything any other woman has ever said to me, and I know that's not on Arizona, but the fact still remains…she's her wife and she's never going to allow this to happen.

"Talk to me…" Arizona says, breaking me from my thoughts. "Eliza?" She steps closer but I hold up my hand.

"D-Don't." I shake my head, my voice trembling. "Please, just stay where you are. I can't do this when you're here and looking like that…"

"Looking like what?" She asks, her forehead creasing.

"Gorgeous." I smile. "Like you could be mine."

"I want to be yours." Her voice breaks. "You asked me to stay, Eliza…"

"I know but this isn't right." I drop my gaze. "Suzanna will be here before we know it and I'll be the one left looking like a fool again."

"Those things she said." Arizona's eyes close. "They were unforgivable."

"It's nothing I haven't heard before." I give her a sad smile. "But it's not the reason I was attracted to you. I-I don't want your money, Arizona."

"I know that." She steps closer, her perfume almost causing me to drop to my knees. "I've never thought that."

"But now?" I find her eyes. "Now that she's said it…it'll be in the back of your mind."

"You really think that?" Her voice shaking, Arizona takes my hand in her own. "You think I'm that kind of person?"

"I don't know." I shrug. "It's not like I know anything about you…"

"But does it feel that way?" She laces our fingers together. "When we're alone, in our own world, does it feel like I think of you that way?"

"N-No." I sigh. "I've never felt like that around you."

"Exactly." She gives me a heartbreaking smile. "You know me, Eliza. You know I'm nothing like Suzanna."

"I-I know." I nod slowly. "It doesn't change anything, though."

"Please…" Her eyes hold unshed tears. "Please, don't end this."

"It ended last night, Arizona." I give her a sad smile. "You know how much I wanted this with you, but she's always going to be there. In the background. Giving me fucking hell."

"I won't let that happen…" Her soft fingers curling around the waistband of my sweats, Arizona pulls me in close. "You know I'll always want to be with you…not her."

"This is too hard." Our foreheads press together. "This isn't how I saw my future."

"How did you see it?" Arizona asks, her thumb trailing my bottom lip.

"Alone." I breathe out. "I always thought I'd be alone…"

"You should never be alone." Arizona's eyes close, her lips inching closer to mine. "You…god, you deserve so much, Eliza."

"Being alone is easier…"

"Maybe…" Those blue eyes bore into my soul, her body connecting with the kitchen counter as she steps back. "But I don't do easy, and neither should you."

"Arizona…" Lifting herself up, her ass rests on my counter, silky smooth thighs now resting either side of my body. "T-This has to stop…"

"Everything around us has to stop…" She curls her fingers under my chin as her legs wrap around my waist. "But this? Us? This should never stop."

 _Fuck. How does she do that? Pull me in time and time again…_

"I want to spend every waking moment with you…" Her voice certain, nothing but honesty radiating from her eyes, I find myself entranced with her words. "I want to fall asleep holding you. Protecting you."

"I-I…"

"When I arrive home from work every evening, it's your face I want to see." Cupping my face, my eyes close as I lean into her touch. "That beautiful face…smiling."

"I want that, too," I admit. "I want that more than anything in the world…"

"So, let's just do us." Leaning down, Arizona's lips press against mine. "Fuck the rest of the world. Lock ourselves away forever and just do us…"

"Mm…" It's all I can give her. Her lips are the sweetest thing I've ever tasted. The softest, most enjoyable sensation in this world.

"She knows I'm not playing her games anymore…" Her breath washes over my face. "And if she so much as looks at you ever again, I'll rip her fucking head off."

"You've got me?" I ask, my voice quivering. "For sure?"

"I've _so_ got you." Arizona's lips curl into a smile. "I promise you, Eliza."

My hands settling on her thighs, a low moan rumbles in Arizona's throat as she captures my lips, hard. Slipping them further up, they disappear beneath her dress, her heels pressing into my ass. I'm not sure I've ever witnessed anyone as hot as Arizona Robbins. I mean, this dress? These heels? They're killing me. They're completely ruining my life. In a good way, though.

"Fuck…" I pull back for air, taking my bottom lip between my teeth.

"What do you want, Eliza?"

"Y-You." Her black lace panties on view as my hands disappear up her stomach, my nails drag back down her skin, my fingertips gripping the soft material. Slipping them down a little, Arizona lifts her ass and her panties drop down her legs and to the floor. "Shit…"

"E-Eliza…" She moans, sitting back on her hands.

"Y-You just…" Pressing my lips to her stomach, she shudders and groans. "You drive me crazy." Making my way down, my teeth nip at her hipbone before my mouth drops lower, pressing a kiss to her inner thigh as those gorgeous legs spread.

"Feels so good when your mouth is on me…" Her head thrown back as I glance up, Arizona has her bottom lip firmly between her teeth. "You've no idea…"

Pressing my thumb to her clit, I can feel the heat radiating from her. I can feel the throbbing between her legs and I haven't even touched her. Not truly. Spreading her soaked folds, pure arousal has my mouth salivating. I could survive on Arizona alone and I suspect she knows that. She knows that she only has to look at me in a particular way and I'm a complete mess.

Dipping my head, I lift Arizona's right leg up, her heel now digging into the kitchen counter. "Fuck…" My eyes focusing on her arousal, I've never seen a wetness like it in my entire life. "Shit…" Trailing a single finger up the length of her dripping sex, Arizona hisses in pleasure, her hips lifting slightly.

"E-Eliza, please…" Her tone pleading, a smirk forms on my mouth as I tease her entrance. "Oh, fuck." Her mouth falling open as I dip my finger inside, her walls squeeze me, her orgasm clearly approaching. "Y-Yes, more."

"I wanna taste you…" Blowing gently against her swollen clit, a gasp falls from Arizona's mouth, leaving me feeling pretty damn good about myself. "Mm…" Taking a long, firm lick up her sex, her arousal coats my tongue. "Perfect."

Whimpering, she grips the counter with one hand, desperately trying to gain a little friction. Pushing deeper inside her, I add a second finger and suck her clit into my mouth. I know she's barely hanging on, but that's the effect I always want to have on her. I always want her to crave me like this.

Suddenly removing her dress from her body, Arizona throws it to the floor, my eyes taking in her perfect naked breasts. Honestly, they're the very definition of perfect. Her hardened nipples drawing me in, I release her clit with a pop and trail my tongue up her stomach. Taking a nipple between my teeth, the moan she releases is like music to my ears. Everything about her body is perfect and I wouldn't have her any other way. There is no jealousy for her incredible body on my part, just complete admiration. Lust. Fuck, she's a masterpiece.

"Fuck, I'm close."

The sound of a sudden hammering on my front door, I pull back, my movements stilling but my fingers still buried deep inside Arizona.

"OPEN UP!" More loud banging and the sound of Suzanna's voice putting the fear of God in me, I'm about to slip out of Arizona when she grips my wrist, shaking her head.

"Don't you dare stop." She gives me a knowing look, licking her lips. "I want you to make me scream, Eliza…"

Narrowing my eyes, I know exactly what she's doing. She wants Suzanna to know exactly what she thinks of her. Their relationship. She wants me to make her come hard and I'd love nothing more.

"ARIZONA, I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"

"Baby…" She grips my jaw. "She's my past. She isn't my concern."

 _Wow…_

"You know exactly what I want…how I like it." Pulling me in, Arizona's lips crush into mine, sending a sensation straight to my core. "Now, fuck me like you mean it…"

Pushing deeper, my mouth returns to Arizona's gorgeous breasts, giving them the attention they deserve. "That's it." She moans. "Fuck, right there." Curling my fingers, my thumb rolls over her clit and her back arches, her head falling back on her shoulders. "Fuck, yes."

"Fuck, you're so tight." Struggling to move inside her, Arizona matches my every trust. "And soaked…"

"M-More." She pants. "I want more of you…"

Pushing deep, a third finger slipping inside, Arizona grips the back of my neck, focusing on my eyes. "I-I'm falling for you, Arizona." My words slip out but I'm not concerned. If this is going to end again tonight, I need her to know how she makes me feel. My honesty, it's all out on the table right now.

"I already have." She smiles against my mouth.

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!"

Pounding Arizona hard and deep, all breath leaves her body and her mouth falls open, her jaw almost hitting her chest. Our eyes, they're focused on one another's. Our skin, touching. "S-Shit, I'm coming…"

"Yeah?" I moan. "You feel good?"

"Fucking amaz-" Her words cut off, Arizona's orgasm rolls through her, her body shaking against my counter. "O-Oh, shit!" A scream ripping from her throat, she shudders, slumping against my body. "Eliza, oh god." Her words more of a moan, she holds me close. "Fuck, I need you to never leave me…"

The sound of someone shoulder barging my apartment door, I grip Arizona's body tighter, prepared for whatever is about to happen. "Come with me." Pulling her down from the counter, I drag her into my bedroom, throwing some clothes her way. "Put them on…"

"W-Why?" She smirks.

"Because she may still be your fucking wife, but I won't allow her to see you naked. Not ever again."

"Mm, I like this side of you." Arizona's arms wrap around my waist, her teeth nipping at my ear. "I love all sides of you…but this? Fucking hot."

"We'll continue this later." I whimper, my own sex throbbing, begging to be touched. "I have the small matter of some fucking crazy woman to deal with."

"Let me handle it." She says.

"Nope." Shaking my head, I leave my bedroom. "It's my turn."

Crossing the open plan space, I look through the spy hole, finding Suzanna standing back against the wall and ready to run at my door again. Gripping the handle, I watch her push off the wall and open the door, her body falling through and hitting my floor.

"The hell is your problem?" I furrow my brow, feigning any knowledge of her being here. "Are you always this crazy, or?"

"Where is she?"

"She?" I ask. "Pretty sure _she_ has a name."

"My wife!" She spits, climbing to her feet. "Don't fucking mess with me, Eliza. I'm warning you."

"Oh, what are you going to do?" I laugh. "Insult me with your perfect tits?"

"Where. The. Fuck. Is. She?" Suzanna approaches me but I stand my ground. "You want to go another round, fine!"

"Don't waste your time." Arizona interrupts, leaning against the frame of my bedroom door.

"What the hell was that?" She turns to face Arizona. "Do you have any idea what you did back at the gala?"

"I do, yes." Arizona nods, pushing off the wood and approaching me. "I believe I was telling people the truth."

"I want the entire business." Suzanna spits. "Every last dime."

"Whatever." My blonde shrugs as she wraps her arm around my waist, barefoot with nothing but an oversized shirt covering her body. "Will that be everything?"

"You wouldn't dare hand it all over…"

"Honestly, I couldn't give a single fuck about the business." She laughs. "Without me, it will dive anyway."

"You sound pretty confident." Her wife says, a smirk forming on her mouth. "Is this your way of getting an amicable divorce? An easy way out?"

"You and amicable don't go together, Suzanna." Arizona rolls her eyes. "I've known you long enough to know that this will _never_ end amicably."

"Then what?" She furrows her brow. "You're not prepared to fight?"

"Nope."

"Bullshit!"

"No, it's really not." Arizona picks Suzanna's purse up from the floor and heads for the door. "Now…" She grips the handle and opens it, throwing her purse into the corridor. "Follow your shitty Chanel and get the fuck out of my life."

"You're a fool." She laughs, shaking her head. "And you!" She points at me. "She'll get bored soon enough."

"Goodbye, Suzanna." I roll my eyes, a sudden surge of confidence coursing through me. "It's no surprise she wants out of your relationship." I laugh. "You're one shitty human being."

Stepping towards me, I take a step forward myself and Suzanna flinches. She isn't so tough when someone stands up to her, I realize that now. Had I known that sooner and had I not allowed my own fears to consume me, Arizona and I never would've worried about this day coming.

"I hope you're happy." She focuses on Arizona. "You met me when you had nothing and now you're going to leave me the same way." A look of disgust in Suzanna's eyes, they trail Arizona's body. "I didn't think you were so fucking stupid."

"Nothing?" Arizona laughs, her arm tightening around my waist. "I've got more than you'll ever have."

Watching Arizona's soon to be ex-wife leave my apartment, the door slams shut and I lock up for the evening. I don't know when I became the confident one, but thank god I did. Maybe now, Suzanna will back off and leave us be. Maybe…just maybe, the day will come when I have Arizona completely to myself.

"Well…" I clear my throat.

"I'm staying the night." Arizona grips my tee, pulling me against her. "I'm _so_ fucking staying the night."

"Yeah?" I smile against her lips.

"That… _that_ deserves some incredible sex." She moans into my mouth. "You may just be the hottest woman on this planet."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	10. Chapter 10

**You & I**

* * *

Ten

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

God, it felt good kicking Suzanna out of Eliza's place last night. That look on her face when I told her she could have the business, how I wasn't concerned. Honestly, I would give it all up, but she won't do that. She won't, because she knows the place would tank without me. She knows that certain clients are only with the business because of me and the connections I have. She knows all of this…but she still insists on treating me like I'm fucking stupid. She'll come groveling, I know she will. I'm prepared, though. I'm not taking anymore shit from her and I think she's beginning to realise that.

This is why she kept me around so long. She needs me. Whether as her wife or not, Suzanna needs me more than anything else in her life. Yes, she may have met me when I had nothing but I was building my life. I would've been successful whether she was with me or not. We both know that, but she still insists on throwing it back in my face any opportunity she gets. She still thinks she can dictate and rule my life. Unfortunately for her, she's sadly mistaken.

"What are you going to do?" Eliza startles me. "About what happened last night?"

Turning in her soft, comfortable bed, I simply smile. "Nothing, why?"

"You just basically gave up your career…"

"You think she'll agree?" I arch an eyebrow. "To take it all and let me walk away?"

"She said it herself, Arizona. She wants it all."

"She wouldn't last five minutes without me," I smirk. "Trust me…I know what I'm doing."

"If you say so." Eliza turns, facing me better. "I hate the business world…"

"Yet here you are." I furrow my brow. "In finance."

"It was never what I wanted to do." She focuses her eyes on my collarbone, her fingertip trailing it. "I was just good at it…"

"What did you want to do?" I ask, genuinely intrigued.

"I always wanted to own a bakery…here in New York."

"Sounds amazing." I shift closer, my hand settling on her hip. "Why didn't you?"

"Guess life just got in the way." She shrugs. "You know, one year passes…before you realize it, they've all rolled into one and it's ten years later." She sighs. "It's ten years later and you're lying on a table about to have your best feature removed."

"Huh?"

"The boobs." She laughs. "My ex, Ali." She clears her throat. "We were discussing it. She wasn't sure what she wanted and we were planning to look into the whole bakery thing a little more…"

"What happened?"

"I found the lump."

"And the bakery took a back seat…" I give Eliza a sad smile. "I guess that was bound to happen."

"Yeah." She agrees. "Ali had come round to the idea of me looking at properties but then it fell apart."

"Where is Ali?" I ask, confused.

"She left."

"Like…to travel the world?" My forehead creases. "Military?"

"No." Eliza shakes her head. "She left _me_ …"

"Why?"

"Because of the cancer." The change in Eliza's voice is heartbreaking. "I understand, though. It wasn't something she ever signed up for. I wouldn't have expected her to stay."

"Wow." I can feel my anger rising. "I, uh…I don't know what to say to that."

"There's nothing to say," Eliza replies. "She left me and I survived."

"But you had people around you, right?"

"Nope." She laughs. "I went it alone…"

"You went through all that alone?" My heart aches for Eliza but I know she doesn't want sympathy. I mean, look at her now…she's amazing. "I probably don't have any right to say this, but I'm proud of you."

"I appreciate that." A genuine smile settles on her mouth. "I appreciate everything you are, Arizona."

"I'm nothing special but I do have a good heart."

"I know you do." Eliza nods. "How you've just accepted me…I never expected that."

"Hard not to accept you when I find you incredibly beautiful." I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. "Who and what you are, the changes in you, they don't concern me. They never will."

"I'm really not here for your wealth, Arizona." She glances up at me, her eyes burning through me. "I know you believe that I'm not, but I just wanted to say it once more."

"Hey…" My thumb trails her cheek. "I'd give you the world if you asked for it."

"But I'm not asking…"

"I know." My lips press against her forehead. "I know…"

"Do you want me to have surgery?"

"Surgery for what?" I ask, completely confused.

"Reconstructive." Eliza clears her throat. "Like she said…"

"I want you to be comfortable with your body. However that works out for you is none of my business. So long as you're healthy, I'm happy."

"Yeah?" Her body relaxes against mine. "You're sure?"

"Never been more sure about anything in my life." I breathe out, holding Eliza close. "You know, if you want to do the bakery thing, you should."

"I'd love to."

"So, what's stopping you?" I ask, pulling back. "I mean, if it's your dream…follow it."

"I just…I don't have the funds right now." She shrugs. "And now that I no longer have a job, I won't have them any time soon."

"Kinda feel like I'd make a good business partner." I relax back onto the mattress. "Don't you think?"

"Uh…" Eliza sits up on her elbow. "A business partner with who?"

"You."

"Oh, I don't think so." She shakes her head, a slight scoff falling from her mouth. "I mean, I'm sure you'd make a great business partner, but this? Us? It's new…"

"So?"

"So, it could all go wrong and then we would wind up stuck with each other."

"You wouldn't want to be stuck with me?" I fake pout. "That's rude…"

"I'd love nothing more than to be stuck with you…but in a relationship. Not a business plan."

"So, we do both." I shrug. "I don't plan on this ending between us anytime soon so I think you should think about it and get back to me."

"Wow, okay." Eliza seems unsure but that's to be expected. "Maybe, yeah."

"For now, though…I'd like to worship your gorgeous body a little more…"

"Now that, I can agree to." Eliza takes her bottom lip between her teeth, sending my body wild with want. "Today...is just you and I."

* * *

"F-Fuck." My mind and body in overdrive, it's been a long time since I've shared a day like this with another woman. I'm so used to spending my weekends alone but not anymore. From this moment on, Eliza is the only one I want to focus my attention on. She's all I see. "Shit, yes." My mouth falling open, she slams into me, three fingers deep. "I-I..."

"Fuck, you're squeezing me so fucking tight." Her words tipping me over the edge for the third time this morning, my orgasm rolls through me, sending a shiver down my spine. "I can't get enough of you." Eliza's naked body now hovering over mine, her eyes search my face, complete happiness in them. "You're so gorgeous."

"Oh, I should be saying that to you." Pulling her down against me, our chests press together and our legs tangle. "Look at me..." My fingers run through her hair. "You are everything I need in my life. Everything I've needed for so long..."

"You're sure I'm who you want?" She asks, her tone serious. "I mean, I feel like you do...but you're sure?"

"God, yes." I smile. "And those things you said before..."

"What things?"

"About surgery. Your body. What I want..."

"Y-Yeah." She nods.

"Don't ever think I want you any other way to how you are now," I say. "Whatever you choose in the future, though...I'll be by your side, okay?"

"You're going to make me cry." Eliza gives me a sad smile, her voice breaking. "But thank you."

"Whatever makes you happy..."

"You." Her lips press against mine. "You're the only person that's made me happy in a long time."

"You know, if I'd been around when everything happened..." I stare at her, no uncertainty in my voice. "I never would've left your side."

"No?"

"Not for one moment." I shake my head. "That kinda thing...I'd have your back."

I know Eliza doesn't hold a grudge where her ex is concerned, but I don't like it. I don't like how she was alone through her surgery and recovery, and I don't like that her ex-girlfriend left when it got a little tough. I mean, if she'd stayed...look what could've been. They could've been happy together. I know I'm appreciative for the time I get to spend with her now, and that wouldn't be possible if Ali hadn't left, but it doesn't make me feel any better. It doesn't mean I'm glad she left Eliza alone, allowing me to come on in and take her in my arms.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Living a shitty existence with that bitch." I laugh. "But I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens in the future...I'm more than here."

"I guess we both just had to wait it out, huh?"

"I guess we did." I breathe out, holding Eliza against me. "I'd wait a lifetime for you..."

"How do you do that?" She glances up. "How do you make me feel so freaking good?"

"I've had a lot of this side of me bottled up inside," I admit. "Now, it's all for you."

"Every last piece?"

"All of it…"

* * *

Taking my cell from Eliza's coffee table, it's buzzing, with my soon to be ex-wife's name flashing on the screen. Clearing my throat and glancing at Eliza, I hit the accept tab, waiting for my call to connect.

"What?" I say, my tone harsh.

"C-Can we arrange to meet please?" Taken aback by Suzanna's soft voice, I furrow my brow, unsure why she's behaving like this. "If you have time…"

"I don't have time," I reply. "I'm busy this weekend."

"Monday when the office is quiet then?" Suzanna suggests.

"Oh, I won't be at the office."

"W-Why?" Suzanna stutters. "We have a huge meeting…"

"But you've made it clear that I'm soon going to be out of the business, so I don't know why I need to be there."

"Arizona…" She sighs. "Please, can we meet?"

"I've just told you I'm busy."

"The meeting on Monday…" She clears her throat. "Bring Eliza, too."

"There is no way Eliza would ever step foot in the office again." I laugh. "The things you said to her ensured that."

"I made a mistake." Suzanna sighs. "I've been a bitch."

"No shit." I scoff. "Look, just have your lawyer contact mine. I'm fully prepared to give it all up, that's no problem for me."

"R-Right, yeah."

"This is what you wanted, so I'm giving you exactly that." I can feel her unraveling without saying a single word to me. "Before this turns nasty, I'd like to wish you the very best with your business."

"It won't turn nasty…"

" _Everything_ turns nasty with you." Ending the call, I set my cell back down on the coffee table and relax back in my seat. I can feel Eliza's eyes on me but I don't really want to discuss Suzanna anymore than I have to.

"What did she want?"

"To meet." I shrug, my eyes focused on the tv. "Probably playing another one of her games."

"She sounded like she was genuine…"

"I'm not sure Suzanna knows what genuine means." Laughing, I wrap my arm around Eliza's shoulder, pulling her against my body. "You'll realize that too soon enough."

"Mm, maybe." Eliza nods. "Where does she want to meet?"

"The office. Monday. You included."

"Oh, no thank you." She glances up at me, a small smile on her mouth. "I've had enough insults from her to last me a lifetime."

"I think she wants to apologize." I clear my throat. "But I wouldn't believe a word she said, Eliza. We both know how full of shit she is."

"Mm, I'm beginning to realize that." Eliza smiles, her arm wrapping around my waist. "Anyway, I'm not thinking about it, or her."

"Sounds like a good idea to me." Leaning down, my lips press against her soft, gorgeous, dark hair. "I feel like I need to make this official with you."

"Yeah?"

"Oh, yeah." I sigh, my head resting back. "I'd love nothing more than to call you my girlfriend. Here and around town."

"Yeah, I won the freaking lottery." She tightens her grip. "For sure."

"We're both winners," I reply. "You, though? You've no idea just how ready I am for this with you."

"Feels right…"

"I'm happy you finally realized that." Giving her a knowing look, Eliza drops her gaze. "Hey, I'm joking."

"No, I was a bitch." She shakes her head, sitting up and forward, facing me better. "I told you I was in but then I walked away. Just…I couldn't stand there any longer listening to what she was saying, Arizona. I may be used to it but it still hurts."

"I know she hurt you." My fingers curl under Eliza's chin. "I know and I hate what she said…what she did."

"I'm okay." She shrugs. "Just one of those things, I guess."

"No, there is no reason for what she did." I disagree. "None whatsoever."

"I'm fucking her wife, Arizona." Eliza's eyes find mine. "She was always going to behave that way."

"She has no right to a say in my life," I state. "Suzanna is just so used to getting what she wants that she expects it to always be that way…"

"You're really going to divorce her…f-for me?"

"Mmhmm." I nod, smiling. "I wouldn't usually bother, but you…I want you and I'm done pretending."

"But why?" Eliza's forehead creases. "I mean, why do you care so much about the divorce just because I'm in your life?"

"Because I know how hard it must be to share something with someone, knowing they're married. Separated or not, it wouldn't be fair."

"You're sweet." She studies my face. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"You went through hell," I say. "Alone."

"Ali was a good person."

"Yeah, I'm sure she was." _I lie._

 _"_ I gave her the option to stay or go…" Eliza crosses her legs under her. "I came home from a weekend at the hospital and she'd gone."

"I'm sorry…" My voice breaks. "I know you say she's a good person, but I don't know how anyone could ever do that."

"She didn't plan to spend her life with a woman who had cancer," Eliza says it like it's the obvious answer. "She wanted kids, a home together. She wanted a business run by us and a happy ending…"

"She still could've had those things…"

"She couldn't carry a child."

"So?" I furrow my brow. "Did you not want that with her?"

"Before my treatment began…I had my eggs frozen." She clears her throat. "I don't know if I can have kids anymore."

"O-Oh." My heart feels heavy in my chest. I can't even begin to imagine what Eliza has been through, but she's strong. I saw that the moment I met her. She's strong and she can get through anything. "Have you never checked that out?"

"No." She gives me a sad smile. "I guess I'm scared about the answer."

"But it would put your mind at rest, no?"

"Maybe, but Ali and I aren't together anymore so it doesn't matter."

"Right, yeah." I give her my best fake smile. "Only you know what you want and who you want it with."

I won't lie, I've spent most of my adult life dreaming about the possibility of having kids one day. At first, I thought maybe Suzanna would've liked that too, but the more I got to know her, the more I realized she's totally self-involved. The thought of bringing a child into the world with her seemed wrong. She's never around and honestly, she'd be the ultimate bitch with no sleep.

I never thought I'd find the right person to share something so special with, but Eliza has just kinda made it clear that it's not what she wants anymore. It may have always been in my plans, and Eliza's at one time, but life changes. Her life changed dramatically two years ago so I wouldn't ever expect her to just go for something like that. Becoming a parent is a huge deal and I'm sure Eliza has thought about it long and hard. Her answer is that it's something she no longer wants. At least, that's how it feels to me.

I know I'm getting way ahead of myself but it's hard not to when things feel so good in my life today. I mean, I can feel myself falling hard and fast for Eliza but she may feel differently. She may not want kids and marriage and everything else that comes with a relationship. Hell, she may decide in the near future that I'm not the one she wants. I guess that would be okay, but I don't like to think about it. How we are…I'm okay with that.

"Can I make dinner for us tonight?" I decide to change the conversation completely. "If it's okay to stay the night again?"

"Dinner sounds like an amazing idea." She agrees, those green eyes setting my body on fire. "Maybe I could head to the store and pick up a nice bottle of something?"

"Maybe we could do it together…" I raise an eyebrow.

"Is that a good idea?"

"The perfect idea," I say, leaving no room for discussion. "It's time for people to see me with the woman I _truly_ want to be with."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	11. Chapter 11

**You & I**

* * *

Eleven

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Monday came around way quicker than I expected or wanted it to. I left Eliza's apartment some twenty minutes ago and now that I have a coffee in my hand, I'm ready to see what bullshit Suzanna is going to try feeding me. I know she has a plan or games in mind but I'm not here for it. I'll listen and then I'm leaving.

Eliza is already a nervous wreck knowing I'm going to the office but I have to do this. If I don't, it's only prolonging everything with Suzanna. My lawyer has served her, that happened at 8 a.m this morning, so I don't expect her to be in the best mood, but her mood is no longer my concern. Her and her awful personality will never be my concern again.

I know she's going to try keeping me at the office and with the business, but over the weekend, I realized there's so much more to life than running around answering to her and her demands. I realized that I could work at the local store and be happier, knowing that Eliza is in my life. I've never felt so sure about anything but regardless of what Suzanna says to me today, I want out of the business. Whether that is with half of it, or with nothing, I want out. There are no two ways about it.

Reaching the elevator, I step inside and hit the button that will take me to the woman I cannot bear to look at right now. At one time, I was happy with her. At one time, we meant the world to each other. That feels like a distant memory now, though. It feels like an entirely different life. I'm okay with it all and the sooner Suzanna realizes that the sooner we can both move forward. Move on. Of course, I want her to be happy. She may be a shitty person, but I'm not. I was raised to have respect for people, even when it seems at a loss in their lives.

Stepping off the elevator, all eyes in the office land on me as I make my way down the corridor, a glass paneled wall separating me from my employees. Clearing my throat, I stop as I reach the open space, glancing around. "Do any of you have something to say?"

A round of heads shaking, their eyes return to their computer screens.

"Figured." Rolling my eyes, I'm suddenly approached by Beth as she leaves my wife's office.

"M-Mrs. Robbins." She drops her gaze. "I, uh…can I talk to you?"

"I'm not sure we have anything to say to each other…"

"Please?" Her eyes plead with me. "If you just have five minutes…"

"Okay." Motioning for her to follow me into my office, Beth does, closing the door behind her. "What's up?"

"About everything that's happened." She sighs. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry for what?" I furrow my brow.

"Getting involved with Suzanna." Her eyes find mine, unshed tears in them. "I respect you and admire you…I'm so sorry."

"Oh, that?" I wrinkle my nose. "No need to apologize."

"B-But…"

"Suzanna and I have been separated for over a year, Beth." I give her a sad smile. "What she does in her own time is none of my business…thank god."

"She said we had to remain secretive."

"Mm, for her own selfish reasons." I nod. "Nothing to do with me." Holding up my hand, I set my coffee down on my desk, resting my ass against the edge. "Look, I hope it all works out for you both. Once we're divorced, she will have no choice but to be out with you."

"Divorce?" Her face pales. "Did I cause this?"

"No, not at all." I shake my head, disagreeing. "I did."

"O-Oh." Her forehead creases. "I'm so confused."

"Just…be with Suzanna, okay?" I raise an eyebrow. "She will soon be my ex-wife. That is all you need to know."

"Right, okay." Beth nods, slowly. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"I'm not." Shrugging, I push off my desk, approaching the door. "Kept her out of my hair." Giving Beth a genuine smile, my hand settles on the door as I pull it open. "You've done nothing wrong…"

"Thank you." I'm not sure Beth even understands what's going on, but she isn't my business. It's Suzanna's job to explain our relationship and she would do well to remember that. Unless she wants me to tell people who she truly is, she should really take care of her own dirty work. Me, I'm done.

Knocking on the office next to mine, Suzanna calls for me to come inside. Glancing back, I find all eyes still on me. "GET TO WORK!"

Stepping inside Suzanna's office, I find her looking tired and worn. "What did you want to see me about?"

"Eliza's not with you?" She furrows her brow.

"No, she's not." I close the door. "Now, what was it?"

"We need to figure this all out, Arizona." Suzanna runs her fingers through her dark blonde hair. "We need to work it out between the three of us…"

"Work what out?" I ask, stopping dead in the middle of her office. "There's nothing to figure out. My lawyer and your lawyer will work it all out for us."

"I really don't want that." She gives me a sad smile, her voice breaking. "I don't want it to all end…"

"All what?"

"The business. Us. What we once were and what we are now…"

"Suzanna, this day was always going to come." I sigh. "It just took me longer than it should have."

"Can we all have dinner?" She suggests. "I need to apologize."

"You want to share dinner with me and my girlfriend?" I laugh. "In what universe is _that_ not fucking weird?"

"Y-Your girlfriend?" She stutters. "You made it official, huh?"

"Damn right I did."

"You've never addressed any of them as your girlfriend before." Suzanna wipes a tear from her jawline. "You've never been so interested."

"Times change." I shrug. "We haven't been in love for a long time, Suzanna. You can't deny that."

"I'll always love you in some way, Arizona…" She stands. "We've been through a lot together."

"We have." I agree. "And I'm happy we had each other."

"But?" Suzanna asks, rounding her desk.

"But this is the end for us." I cross my arms over my chest. "It's been a long time coming but the time is now."

"You're sure about this?" Suzanna's voice trembles. "About the divorce. Leaving the business. Everything?"

"I am."

"Then I want you to have what you deserve." She nods. "I'll call my lawyer, have her draw up the relevant papers."

"Have what I deserve?" I ask, confused.

"You built this business _with_ me, Arizona." Suzanna gives me a small smile. "Without you, I'd be nothing."

"Seriously?" I say, my tone void of anything. I don't want her to know that I'm relieved by her decision and I don't want her to think I need it. I really don't. I can make it alone, I know I can.

"Yes." She sighs. "I'm just sorry it came to this." Approaching me, Suzanna holds out her hand but I decide against being so formal. Instead, I pull her into a hug.

"I want you to be happy, Suzanna," I say, honestly. "To do that, we have to finalize this."

"I-I know." She hugs me tighter. "I'm sorry for everything I said…"

"It's not me you should be apologizing to." I pull back. "Eliza deserves more than that. None of this is her fault. She just happened to be the woman I fell in love with…"

"Y-You love her?" My soon to be ex-wife raises her eyebrow, shocked.

"I mean, uh…yeah, I guess I do." I smile, a heat creeping up my neck. What's the use in pretending that I don't? I fell in love with that woman the moment I laid eyes on her, I know I did. "Do you want me to hang around until everything is sorted out?"

"Hang around?"

"Finish up any projects I have going?"

"I'd like that but you should think about it first," Suzanna says, backing up. "I don't want to keep you here if you don't want to be."

"I'll take a day or two, okay?"

"Okay." Heading for her desk, Suzanna returns to the paperwork in front of her. "Arizona?" She catches my attention as I head for the door.

"Mm?" I turn around.

"What do you think of Beth?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes, honestly…" She smiles. "You've always been a good judge of character."

"I think she's crazy for being willing to take you on." Laughing, Suzanna rolls her eyes. "She seems nice," I admit. "Just…don't hurt her, okay?"

"See you around, Arizona."

* * *

 ** _A: Hey, I'm home. x_**

 ** _E: How did it go at the office? x_**

 ** _A: Fine. Will I see you tonight? x_**

 ** _E: Do you want to see me tonight? x_**

 ** _A: You already know the answer to that…_**

 ** _E: She didn't convince you to take her back then? x_**

 ** _A: I can't believe you just asked me that. I'm disappointed._**

 ** _E: Sorry. Can I come over now? x_**

 ** _A: If you trust me, yes. x_**

Throwing my cell down on the couch, I drop down beside it, frowning. Does Eliza really think I would've taken Suzanna back? Does she really think I'm not serious about us? I thought she was. I thought after this weekend, she knew exactly how I felt about her. Seems I was wrong.

My buzzer pulling me from my thoughts, I approach my door and hit the enter button. I don't know who it is but I'm too lost in my head to care. I'm too worried about what Eliza is going to say, or perhaps accuse me of, when she arrives here.

Unlocking the door, I head back for the couch and drop down, pulling my feet up onto the coffee table. Am I going to be the one who comes out of this hurt? Am I expecting too much from my relationship with Eliza already? I mean, just a couple of days ago, I was imagining a future with her, kids too. I know I'm getting way ahead of myself, but I have so many emotions inside me and I don't know where to begin with any of them. I don't know how to sort through them.

"Arizona? Hello?" Her voice soothing me, I glance up to find Eliza standing in my doorway.

"You got here quick." My forehead creases.

"I was at the coffee shop across the street." She shrugs, coming inside and closing the door behind her. "You've been crying…"

"Just, having a moment." I scoff. "You want coffee?"

"No, thank you." She gives me a small smile. "I can't stay…"

"Oh." My eyes focus on the space between us. "You're ending this, right?"

"N-No." She disagrees. "Just…I think I need to slow this down with you. I think we need to take a step back until everything is finalized between you and Suzanna."

"Okay." I nod, not truly hearing what she's saying. "Whatever you want."

"I don't want any of this." Eliza approaches me, sitting on the edge of the coffee table. "But my own worries are consuming me and I think it's best if I just see you when this is all over."

"You mean you don't trust me?"

"I find it hard to trust anyone anymore." I appreciate her honesty but it doesn't make me feel any better. "It's nothing personal…"

"No?" I smile. "Feels like it is."

"If we're together through this, she will come between us," Eliza says. "She's already done that on more than one occasion and I don't want either of us to say something we'll come to regret, making what we have irreparable."

 _What the hell is happening? Just a few hours ago, I told Suzanna I love Eliza. Now, the woman I love is walking away for fear of something going wrong._

"You should do whatever you feel is right." I nod, standing and disappearing into the kitchen. "I wouldn't ever keep you here if you don't want that."

"I do want it." Eliza sighs, standing and shoving her hands in her pockets.

"But you're not willing to put your trust in me…in case I fuck up?"

"I just…"

"You don't have to explain." I hold up my hand. "I get it."

"Arizona…"

"Please, don't." I shake my head. "Don't defend your decision to leave. Don't try to make me understand." I close my eyes, gripping the edge of the counter. "I should've known this was all too good to be true."

"Which?"

"This. Us." I motion between us. "Suzanna has just basically wished me well and offered me half of the business. I felt good leaving the office today. I felt like things were falling into place for me…but then you come here and say this stuff and it's fallen apart just hours later."

"Oh…"

"I'm sorry, okay?" I run my fingers through my hair. "I wish you could trust me. I wish I could tell you everything will be okay and you'd believe me, but I can't. I can't and that hurts. It makes me feel like I can never get any of this right."

"Arizona…"

"I have to leave town tomorrow." I clear my throat. "Business trip."

"Oh, anywhere nice?"

"No idea." I shrug. "I hope you can figure out what you want in life, Eliza." I approach the door, pulling it open. "I had so much I wanted to discuss with you. So many plans to make. Seems it was one-sided but I get it. I'm just sorry you feel like you have to take a step back."

"I don't know what else to do…"

"I'm sorry about that, too." I lean in, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Because I was ready for all of this with you. _More than ready_."

"C-Can I call you?" She asks, stepping out into the corridor. "When things settle down?"

"You can call me any time you like." I smile. "I'll always be your friend."

"I mean…can we move forward when she's out of the picture?"

"I don't know." I breathe out. "I don't know where I'll be when this is over."

"Where you'll be?" Eliza furrows her brow. "Why wouldn't you be here?"

"Because I was only here for you," I admit. "Had I divorced her when I was single, I'd have moved on. Out of town."

"Wow…"

"Yeah, wow." I laugh. "Sounds crazy, right? How this morning…I had a wife _and_ a girlfriend." I roll my eyes. "Now I have neither."

"She's still your wife…"

"Trust me, she's not." I close the door over, deciding my conversation is over. "Today, in her office…she let me go. For good."

"Arizona, wait."

"I need to pack," I say. "Just…look after yourself, okay? You know where I am if you need me. Just call…"

Closing the door, I lean back against it, tears pricking my eyes. This isn't how I expected my afternoon to go, not at all, but Eliza knows what she wants and what she needs. If she believes she needs to take a step back and slow things down, that's her decision. Me? I'll continue to live my life pleasing everyone else.

 _Get your ass out of the country, Robbins. It's the best thing for you…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	12. Chapter 12

**You & I**

* * *

Twelve

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

 _What the hell is wrong with me? Seriously?_

How could I go to Arizona's apartment and tell her I want to slow us down? How could I say those things and expect her to just wait around for me? In a way, I do want to slow down and take a step back, but not because of her or how I feel about us. Because it's best all round if I'm not in the picture while she's going through her divorce. I don't want her to get side-tracked and I don't want Suzanna to always be in my face.

Sure, I can hold my own where that bitch is concerned, but I don't want to spend this time with Arizona, fighting with Suzanna. This isn't any of my business. Of course, I want to be there for her when she needs me, but by doing that, I'm putting myself in a position where I'll get hurt. Whether that is through Suzanna's insults, or Arizona and I disagreeing on something regarding all of this, one or both of us will get hurt.

I understand that she was concerned that I don't trust her, but deep down…I do. Deep down, I trust her like I've never trusted anyone in my life. Actually, I probably trust her more than I trust myself. Still, I walked away from her apartment ten minutes ago…leaving her hurt. Just like I knew it would all plan out.

Pushing through the heavy glass doors I haven't walked through since last week, I take the elevator to the floor of the business and try to remain calm. I may have hurt Arizona and she isn't likely to ever speak to me again, but I want to say some final words to Suzanna, too. I want her to know that I'm not going to get in the way of her divorce, or her life.

She will probably laugh at me in her expensive _Louboutin_ heels and kick me out the door, but I'm prepared for that. I'm prepared for whatever she says to me. Honestly, she can't hurt me with her words any more than she already has.

Stepping off the elevator, I make my way down the corridor, knocking on Suzanna's office door. "Come in…"

Pushing the door open, I find her sitting at her desk, taking a call. Motioning for me to sit down in the chair facing her, I close the door and slowly make my way inside. Ending her call, she sets the receiver down in its place and studies my face. "What can I do for you, Eliza?"

"I know you probably don't care for anything I have to say, but I'd still like you to listen…"

"First, I want to apologize." She gives me a sad smile. "Those things I said to you, it was abhorrent. That isn't what I think at all."

"O-Okay." I furrow my brow, now totally thrown.

"Arizona has made it clear that _you_ are who she loves and I accept that." Suzanna nods. "I accept that and I'm letting her go."

"Loves me?" I laugh, a sudden anxiety settling in the pit of my stomach. "I think you're getting ahead of yourself…"

"Oh, they're not my words." She shakes her head, relaxing back in her seat.

"S-She said that to you?" I stutter, realizing I've made a huge mistake. "She actually told you that."

"Yes." She glances at her watch. "Some three hours ago…"

"I, uh…" Dropping my gaze, I shake my head. "I should go…"

"You came here for a reason, no?"

"I did but suddenly it doesn't matter." I smile awkwardly. "I just wanted you to know that I wouldn't get in the way while the divorce was going through. That it isn't my business…"

"You left her, didn't you?" Suzanna sits forward, her elbows resting on the desk between us. "You walked away…"

"Shit." My response barely above a whisper, my hands feel clammy.

"That was foolish." She sighs. "Arizona isn't one you let go, Eliza. She isn't here to play you or take you for granted. If she loves you, she really loves you."

"I-I didn't know…"

"Perhaps she wasn't ready to tell you yet." Suzanna raises her eyebrow. "And I know it isn't my business to get involved, but I suppose I owe her one."

"I should really go…" I stand, straightening myself out. "She uh, she said she has to leave for a business trip tomorrow…"

"Hmm…" Suzanna narrows her eyes. "A business trip is usually code for 'I'm leaving town to fuck anything with a pulse'."

"R-Right." I nod, my hand settling on the door handle. "T-Thanks."

"I'd move your ass if I were you, Eliza." Suzanna ushers me away. "She won't hang around waiting for you forever."

"Bye, Suzanna."

Rushing out of her office, my walk turns into a run as I head straight for the elevator. I don't know if Arizona will open the door to me, or if she will give me the time of day, but I have to try. I made a mistake in asking her for space, but I thought it was what we both needed. If we were ever going to come out of this together…I truly believed it was the best thing for us. I understand that I was wrong, and I'll hold my hands up to that.

 _Come on, Minnick. Get your girl before she falls into someone else's arms…_

* * *

Pushing multiple buzzers, I shift uncomfortably from left to right, the New York winter air chilling me to the bone. Yes, it's crisp and refreshing, but this evening…it's simply a pain in my ass. Relieved when the lock of the door clicks, I rush inside and take the stairs rather than the elevator. I don't have time to stand around and the more I do, the more anxious I feel.

Taking them two at a time, I reach Arizona's floor, moving towards her apartment door. I can hear low music playing on the other side of it, but I need to be inside with her. I need to apologize and hope to god she forgives me. If she didn't, I'd only have myself to blame, but I guess I owe it to the both of us to try.

Knocking gently, I listen for any movement but I'm rewarded with silence. A deafening silence. Music may be playing, but to me…silence is the only thing I hear. Silence and the sound of my own heartbeat. Knocking again, the music cuts out and I hear footsteps. Footsteps that could potentially end my life. My relationship once and for all.

"Eliza?" Arizona furrows her brow as the door opens. "W-Why are you here?"

"Because I'm an asshole." I give her a sad smile. "And I'd really like to come inside so you can tell me why you're crying." Stepping closer, I brush a tear from her jawline, her eyes red and puffy. "Please?"

"D-Don't." She swats my hand away. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not…and neither am I."

"You seemed perfectly fine earlier when you said you needed space…"

"Please, I don't want to do this out here," I beg. "I know what I said hurt, but I really need you to let me inside so I can apologize."

"Okay…" Her voice low, Arizona steps aside and grants me access to her apartment. That soft, comforting scent I've come to know and loves hits me square in the face, causing a small smile to settle on my mouth. "I just…I don't know why you're here."

 ** _Standin' on the platform_**

 ** _Watching you go_**

 ** _It's like no other pain_**

 ** _I've ever known_**

 ** _To love someone so much_**

 ** _To have no control_**

 ** _You said, "I wanna see the world"_**

 ** _And I said, "Go"_**

"I thought by leaving, I was doing the right thing." Sighing, I turn to face Arizona. "I thought if I let you go through this without me, we would be better off at the end of it."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"Honestly, I don't know." I shrug. "I figured if I wasn't around, I couldn't influence anything. I didn't want a fight between us to become a possibility and I'd already made a comment when I texted you earlier."

 ** _But I think I'm lost without you_**

 ** _I just feel crushed without you_**

 ** _I've been strong for so long_**

 ** _That I never thought how much I needed you_**

 ** _I think I'm lost without you_**

"Yeah, that was kinda shitty." Arizona agrees, wrapping her arms around herself. "Did you think I'd go back to her?"

"Deep down, no." I shake my head. "But when you left my place this morning, I wasn't sure when I'd see you again. I wasn't sure we'd be together again…"

"Why?"

"Because I know what she's like…Suzanna." I rest back against the kitchen counter. "I know she has it all, so much more than me. I just…I panicked. I didn't give myself a moment to think about what I was saying or doing. I'm sorry."

"You left…" Arizona says.

"I know."

 ** _Strangers rushin' past_**

 ** _Just tryna get home_**

 ** _But you were the only_**

 ** _Safe haven that I've known_**

 ** _Hits me at full speed_**

 ** _Feel like I can't breathe_**

 ** _And nobody knows_**

 ** _This pain inside me_**

 ** _My world is crumbling_**

 ** _I should never have_**

 ** _Let you go_**

"I didn't want you to leave." Her eyes find mine. "I didn't want to hear all that stuff you said. How you don't trust me. How you needed space and to step back."

"I never meant it…" I admit as Arizona closes the distance between us. "I never meant anything I said."

"It still hurt." Her voice breaks. "What do you want from me, Eliza?"

"You," I say. "Your love. Your happiness. That undeniable feeling I have when I'm with you. Alone, just us."

"What undeniable feeling?" Arizona's forehead creases.

 ** _I think I'm lost without you_**

 ** _I think I'm lost, lost, lost_**

 ** _I think I'm lost without you, you_**

 ** _I just feel crushed without you_**

 ** _'Cause I've been strong for so long_**

 ** _That I never thought how much I love you_**

"That I love you." My words fall freely from my mouth. "That I want a life with you. A home. A career. That I've never felt this way about anyone in my life…"

"Y-You, just…" She stops in front of me, unsure as to whether she should come any closer.

"I just what?" I hold out my hand, taking hers and pulling her towards me. "Huh?"

"You just said…" Arizona shakes her head. "Never mind…"

"That I love you?" Her body presses against mine. "Because I do…"

"I-I love you, too." Our foreheads connect, her deep blue eyes holding mine. "I've known it since the moment I met you."

 ** _Standin' on the platform_**

 ** _Watching you go_**

 ** _You said, "I wanna see the world"_**

 ** _And I said, "Go_** "

"You've no idea how much I want this with you, Arizona."

"I thought I did." Her eyes close. "I thought I saw it all with you…"

"You don't anymore?" My voice quivers.

"I-I don't know."

"Please, Arizona…"

"I'm trying to distance myself from you but it's impossible." A tear slips down her face. "I'm trying to give you what you want. Space. Time alone. Whatever it is you feel you need…but it's hard."

"I don't want any of those things," I whisper against her mouth. "I thought I did, but I don't. I just want you."

"Then why did you say it?" She asks, her eyes still firmly on mine. "Why did you walk away?"

"Fear," I admit. "That feeling of not being good enough for you. Torment, for what you're about to go through. All shitty reasons, but reasons, nonetheless."

"I appreciate your honesty."

"It's all I can give you…" I sigh. "I want a future with you, Arizona." I smile. "I want to wake up in your arms every morning, but I'm scared that one day…you'll wake up and realize the mistake you made in choosing me rather than her, whether you're together or not."

"If only you knew how much I want a future with you…"

"You really do?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"So much."

"I'm sorry I said what I did earlier." My lips press against Arizona's. "I'm sorry I made you feel this way…"

"I want it all with you, Eliza," Arizona admits. "And I know that probably isn't possible, but I want whatever I can get with you…"

 _Okay, what does that even mean?_

"I want it all with you, too."

"That's not true." Her lips brush mine. "But I'm okay with that…"

"It is true…"

"I know you've been through absolute hell, Eliza. I know you don't feel like any of this could ever be truly good, but it will be. I promise you."

"I know it will." My nose brushes Arizona's. "I know Suzanna realizes what's happening now…"

"How did you come to that realization?"

"I went to her office," I admit. "I wasn't sure how it would work out, but it worked out better than I imagined."

"Y-You went to the office?"

"I did." I nod, slightly. "You're not mad, are you?"

"No." She sighs. "What did she say?"

"Nothing I expected from her." I laugh, my hands slipping beneath Arizona's shirt and settling against her bare skin. "That I'd be a fool to walk away from you."

"S-She said that?" Arizona pulls back, studying my eyes. "She really said that to you?"

"She did."

"Wow, okay." Arizona seems shocked but I get that. I was shocked when Suzanna was so normal with me. Like, she was wishing us well. "Not what I expected."

"No, me neither." I lift one hand from her body, cupping her face. "I'm so sorry, Arizona."

"It's okay." Her eyes focus between us, her gaze dropping.

"No, it's not okay." I counter, curling my finger under her chin. "But I need you to know that I love you…"

"God…" Her eyes close, a tear slipping from them. "I never thought I'd hear those words coming from you."

"You'll hear them a lot more from now on…" My lips press softly against hers. "I should never have walked away from here earlier."

"Please, don't do it again…"

"I won't." I grip her jaw gently, feeling her lean into my touch. "From this moment on, you're stuck with me."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always. The song was 'Lost Without You' by Freya Ridings. Check it out, her voice is haunting and beautiful.**


	13. Chapter 13

**You & I**

* * *

Thirteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

 _God, she's here._

If I'm being completely honest, I didn't think I'd see Eliza again. I know she told me she wanted more when my divorce was finalized, but I still had that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as she left. I still wondered if that was it for us. I want her like I've never wanted anyone before, but I'm not prepared to sit around waiting. As much as I feel like I need her in my life, I'm done waiting for my time. I'm done asking myself questions about when I'll be happy. When someone will see me. When I won't be the one waiting and holding on. I'm done, but I hope Eliza won't ever learn that.

She doesn't need to. I know she has a lot going on in her own life, but I want to be a part of that, too. I want to be the one who she calls when she needs to talk. I want to be the one she chooses to have listen to her when she's having a rough day. I don't want that to come when Suzanna is gone from my life, once and for all. I want it now. I want _her_ now.

"Hey…" Eliza clears her throat, coming from the bathroom. "Did, uh…did you want me to head home?"

We've just shared dinner together but it was quiet. Little to no conversation. Perhaps we're both working through things in our head, I don't know, but I don't like the silence. Silence means Eliza is unsure about this. If I've come to realize anything since I met her, it's that I don't want the uncertainty. Sure, if she thinks leaving is for the best, I wouldn't stop her…but if she's waiting for me to take Suzanna back, that won't do. I'd never put myself in a position with her ever again, I'm not that stupid.

"Did you want to go home?" I clear my throat, realizing I've been silent for too long.

"Not really…"

"Then stay." I arch an eyebrow. "Stay the night."

"Wasn't sure if you were still mad at me." She shoves her hands in the pockets of her jeans, closing the distance between us. Her eyes flicker to the coffee table between us, but I settle my hand on her thigh and her gaze returns to me. "I am sorry, Arizona."

"I know." I smile. "You keep saying…"

"Sorry, I'm probably pissing you off." She scoffs, laughing. "Just…I'd understand if you needed some time."

"Time for what?"

"To decide about us." Her voice trembles. "You know, after I walked away again…"

"Do you plan to do it in the future?" I ask, her hand settling on top of mine.

"No, I don't plan to ever leave you again."

"Then there is no more to be said about it." I shrug. "I love you, Eliza. I need you to understand that."

"But…how?"

"How do I love you?" I furrow my brow. "You've really no idea how much I love having you in my life, do you?"

"I guess not." She gives me an uncertain smile. "I mean, I know how good it feels being here…"

"So, can't that be enough?" I shift closer. "Do we really need to overanalyze everything or can we just try this? Be happy?"

"Y-Yeah." She nods. "Yeah, we can."

"Promise?" I lean in, capturing her lips. "Because I don't want to fight with you. I just want to love you…"

"Fuck…" Her forehead presses against mine. "You just…you make me feel like nothing else in this world matters."

"Because it doesn't." I smile against her mouth. "So long as you and I are happy…nothing else will _ever_ matter."

"I have no job, Arizona."

"Yeah, there is that…" I sigh, pulling back. "I had an idea but you kinda already shot it down the last time I spoke about it."

"What idea?" Eliza looks at me confused.

"The bakery…"

"Yeah, you know that's a nonstarter." She sighs. "There's no way I can raise that kind of money. Not right now."

"So, let me help you…"

"No, I couldn't do that." She shakes her head, disagreeing. "No way."

"Why not?"

"Because it's a ridiculous idea." Eliza laughs. "Why the hell would you want to do something like that for me?"

"Because I love you. Because I want to see a smile on your face. Because it's your dream."

"At one time, yeah…"

"It will always be your dream." I cup her face, my thumb grazing her cheek. "I saw that look in your eyes the first time we spoke about it. I know you want it."

"Wanting it and having it are two different things, Arizona."

"Unless they're not." I narrow my eyes. "Open a bakery, Eliza. Make _me_ happy by making yourself happy."

"I couldn't." She shakes her head slightly. "I appreciate the offer but I'm trying to keep my life as stress-free as possible. I just…I'm tired." She breathes out. "Since the moment everything ended and I got my life back on track, I've been so tired."

"Physically, or?" My forehead creases, worry settling in the pit of my stomach. "I mean, do you think it's anything to worry about?"

"No." She gives me a soft smile. "And it's nothing for _you_ to worry about either."

"I think I'll always worry about you, Eliza." I have to be honest with her. The thought of ever losing her terrifies me. "But that's just who I am."

"I'm good." She turns her hand, lacing our fingers together. "I'm strong. I'm just so freaking tired."

"So, take a break…"

"How can I take a break?" She laughs. "I have a life to live. Rent to pay."

"Never mind that." I wave off her concern. "I've got you."

"No." She shifts uncomfortably. "No, you haven't."

 _Damn it. Why the hell is she so stubborn?_

"Please?" I plead. "Let me help you."

"I don't need your help, Arizona." Her features soften. "I just want this…how we are."

"At least take a couple weeks?" I suggest. "We could both use a break. I mean, I know I could."

"And do what?" She arches her eyebrow. "Sit around when I could be making money?"

"Well, no." I sigh. "Never mind."

It's useless trying to get anything through to this woman. She's too stubborn and I'm wasting my time. I want to suggest a break somewhere. You know, get to know each other a little better, recharge before my divorce kicks in, but I know she will shoot it down before I've given myself the opportunity to speak.

"I, uh…I have some things to do in my office." I squeeze her hand, releasing it. "Give me twenty okay?"

"I can leave…"

"Please, don't." I stand, wrapping my arms around myself. "Stay. I just…I think you need a moment alone."

"For what?"

"To realize you're back here." I give her a sad smile. "To decide what you wanna do…"

"Arizona wait!" She stands but I round the couch, heading for my office. "Damn it!"

* * *

Flipping through some of the paperwork I received from my lawyer, I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying desperately to prevent a headache I can feel making itself known. Eliza hasn't bothered to come find me but I told her to take some time. I told her she needed to be alone. Seems it was the right thing to do as we're sitting in separate rooms right now.

I don't want to be in here but I also don't know what else to do. Shouldn't I be able to just whisk her away when I want to? Shouldn't I be able to suggest a night away, maybe even a weekend, without her defending her decision to say no? Honestly, I'm not sure I can handle her blowing me, or my ideas off. She knows what she wants and I have to respect that. I don't like it, but I do respect it.

"Arizona?" A light knock on my door pulling me from the paperwork in front of me, I turn in my seat to find Eliza leaning against the frame of the door.

"How long have you been there?"

"Little while." She shrugs. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." I nod, setting down the pen in my hand. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." She nods, eyeing the view from my office. "Wow."

"Yeah, it keeps me sane." I smile, following her eyes. "Did, uh…can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm okay." Closing the distance between us, Eliza wraps her arms around me from behind, her chin resting on my shoulder. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?" My head rests back.

"Being a bitch." Her lips press below my ear. "Being miserable."

"You're not." I disagree. "Just…are you sure this is what you want? Me?"

"So sure." Her breath tickles my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "Turn around, Arizona." Doing as she asks, Eliza straddles my legs, her arms wrapping around my neck. "You don't need to do anything for me, okay?"

"Okay." I drop my gaze. "I just like doing things for people, is all."

"I know." She curls her fingers under my chin. "It's one of the things I love about you…"

"But?" I find her eyes, soft and so very green.

"It isn't necessary." Pressing her lips to mine, Eliza tugs my bottom lip. "You know I want to be with you and that is the only thing that matters…"

"I wanted to get away for a few days…"

"I know." Eliza smiles. "But I'm here now so sleeping around isn't necessary."

"W-What?" I pull back, my brow furrowed. "Sleeping around?"

"Suzanna…she said it's code for sleeping around when you say you're going out of town."

"Actually, I meant with you." Pushing Eliza from my lap, I climb to my feet and move past her. "I wanted to take you away for a few days but I'm too freaking scared to ask because I know you'll blow me off!"

"A-Arizona." She grips my wrist as I attempt to leave my office. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"Yeah, you did." I scoff. "But what else are you supposed to think? The night I met you…we slept together."

"And it was the greatest night of my life." Pulling me against her, Eliza backs up, dropping down into the seat I've just vacated. "Believe me when I tell you that."

"When I said I was leaving town earlier, I wasn't planning to sleep with anyone." My voice breaks. "I'm sorry you thought that."

"I didn't." She shakes her head, disagreeing. "Just…that's what she told me."

"Well, she's wrong." My eyes close. "She's _so_ fucking wrong about everything I am. I want you to see that."

"I do see that."

"So, come away with me…"

"To where?" There is a slight whine in Eliza's voice that I don't like.

"You know, never mind." I give her my best fake smile. "I guess you need to look for a job and I should get this divorce going."

"To where, Arizona?" She stares me down. "Huh?"

"Eliza, it really doesn't matter." I squeeze her hand as she stands. "Just do your thing, okay?"

"No." Her body presses against mine, forcing me against the wall of my office.

"E-Eliza..." My breath catches as her hand slips up my tee. "Oh god..."

"Where are we headed, Arizona?" A smirk forms as she leans in closer, her breath washing over my lips. "Huh?" I have no answer because I'm not sure what it is she's trying to ask me. "Somewhere with a bed, I hope..."

"I-I don't know." My head is spinning, her perfume intoxicating.

"You must have somewhere in mind..."

"I still have mom and dads place." I whimper. "O-Out of town."

"Then I should go home and pack a bag, right?" Her tongue trails my bottom lip. "Maybe some sexy lingerie..."

"Jesus Christ." I look up to the heavens. "What the hell are you doing to me?"

"Nothing..." She captures my lips hard, moaning as her tongue slips past them. "I'm sorry I've been so hot and cold." She pulls back, her own breathing erratic as her hand slips past the waistband of my pants. "I just feel like you're too good to be true..."

"I'm here." My hand fists in her blouse. "You're here."

"Correct." She smiles into a soft kiss.

"Let me be the one for you...let me do what I think is right," I say. "No questions asked..."

"Okay." Her eyes closing when her fingertips connect with the wet heat between my legs, I'm pretty sure Eliza will agree to just about anything right now. "Fuck, you're soaked." Her fingers trail through my swollen folds.

"All because of you." I push her back and down into my office chair, straddling her legs. "Everything I've felt lately is because of you."

Pushing her hand back inside my pants, I'm thankful that they have some give in them. I don't generally lounge around in sweats but I didn't feel much like dressing up today. Not after what happened between us. "Shit." My breath catching as Eliza does unimaginable things to my body, my head falls back on my shoulders, my bottom lip between my teeth.

"I love having you to myself..." She pushes two fingers deep inside me. "Just us, like this."

"Mm..." It's all I can give her.

"I could spend my life locked away with you..."

"I wish you would." I whimper, her fingers curling and hitting that sweet spot. "Fuck!"

"You like that, huh?"

"Y-Yes," I reply breathlessly, my hands finding the arms of my seat either side of my girlfriend's body. "So good." Pushing her thumb against my clit, all breath leaves my body as I hold on for dear life. Every emotion, I'm feeling it. Every word we've ever spoken to one another, they're playing over in my mind. Eliza, she's everything to me. "I-I, oh god..."

"I could listen to you moan for me forever." Gripping the back of my neck, Eliza pulls me into a heated, animalistic kiss. Our tongues dueling and our hands roaming, my orgasm builds, the intensity too much to take. "Come for me, Arizona." Her words barely above a whisper, Eliza mumbles against my mouth and my body gives out on me, writhing, shaking. "Fuck, just like that." She smirks against my lips. "So good."

"Jesus, fuck." Biting down on my girlfriend's bottom lip, Eliza moans, sending fresh arousal from my already throbbing, soaked sex. "God, you're something else."

"About that get away..." Our foreheads press together. "You still up for it?"

"More than ever." My eyes bore into her soul. "Like you couldn't imagine…"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	14. Chapter 14

**You & I**

* * *

Fourteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

I could really get used to this place. I'm not entirely sure where we are, but we left New York this morning and arrived at Arizona's parents place some five hours later. It's calm. Peaceful. Probably everything we need in our lives right now. I know I'm generally a workaholic, but having some downtime is nice. Especially when you have the opportunity to stare at Arizona and her fine body during said downtime.

Last night ended quite well for us considering the last couple of days and how I messed up, but I get the impression that Arizona is waiting for me to disappear again. I feel like she's just sitting here...waiting until I walk out. That's not going to happen, but can I really blame her for feeling that way? Can I honestly say she's being overly dramatic for worrying about our relationship? No, I can't. She has every right to question things. She has every right to mull over this in her head. She may be the definition of perfect to me, but she's only human. Human, with a world of emotions going on inside.

I see it when I watch her. When she's sitting quietly, watching TV...or during the drive here. I could see the look of worry in her eyes. The uncertainty about us. About me. I saw it and I didn't like it. Arizona has been amazing and she deserves more than that. She deserves someone who isn't going to disappear when things get a little tough. Yes, everyone is entitled to have a moment and everyone is allowed to be scared, but I promised her I was all in...and then left. How is she ever supposed to trust me if I can't stick to a simple promise? How can she ever relax around me if she's fearful of something happening between us?

Clearing my throat, I focus on Arizona's profile. "Great place."

"Mm, mom and dad left it to me..."

"What happened?" I ask, hoping I haven't overstepped. "Tell me to mind my own business. I won't be offended."

"Jet ski accident." She glances my way. "Ten years ago..."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." She gives me a small smile. "Life happens."

"Do you come here a lot?"

"I used to." Arizona wraps her hand around her cup filled with hot chocolate. "I felt close to them here. Then as the years passed, I came here less." She shrugs. "Suzanna hated coming here but I didn't like bringing her because she didn't appreciate the beauty of this place."

"Yeah, it's certainly something else." I glance around, taking in the original features and the warmth of the open fireplace. "It's homely..."

"I thought about moving in here once..."

"But you didn't, why?" I turn in my seat, facing Arizona fully.

"I prefer the city." She says. "I love this place but New York is it for me."

"I do like the city." I smile. "But this place? God, I never wanna leave..."

"I'm happy you like it here." Arizona snuggles down under the blanket, sitting at the opposite end of the huge plush couch we've been stuck to since we arrived. "If someone doesn't appreciate it, they don't come again. It's as simple as that..."

"Well, I'm grateful that you brought me here." I lean in, taking her hand. "Really grateful."

"I knew you'd enjoy it." Arizona squeezes my hand. "You and I are into the same kinda things. So, I knew you'd appreciate it and enjoy spending time here."

"Yeah?" My smile grows wider.

"Mmhmm." Arizona sips her drink. "Maybe it'll become a regular thing."

"I'd love that." Shifting closer, I take Arizona's cup from her hand and lean forward, setting it down on the coffee table. "But first, I want to truly apologize for what I said to you yesterday."

"It's okay, Eliza."

"No, it's not." I disagree. "You didn't deserve that. You deserve so much more than me walking away because I'm scared. I really am so sorry."

"Hey, it's forgotten about." She drops her gaze.

"Hey..." I lift her head, curling my fingers under her chin. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Arizona smiles as I lean in, my lips ghosting over hers. "Just...be mine, Eliza."

"I am." My heart skips a beat. "Completely."

"My life has the potential to really fall into place with you." She says, her eyes never leaving mine. "Everything I've ever wanted...I know I can have with you."

"What do you want?" I ask, settling between her legs. "Tell me what you want."

"Happiness." She sighs. "Just that complete love I always imagined. A future with you and whatever else comes with that."

"Whatever else comes with it?" My forehead creases.

"Yeah, just whatever you want." I feel like she has something she wants to say but I could be wrong. Something in her voice sounds like she's holding back.

"What exactly is it you're thinking about?" I ask, hoping she'll elaborate.

"Nothing in particular." Her eyes lose focus and I know she's lying.

"It's about the bakery, isn't it?" I sigh. "I really appreciate your offer but I'll find something else I'm good at."

"It's actually nothing to do with the bakery." Arizona smiles. "You've made it clear that you don't want it and I accept that."

"Then what is it?" My forehead creases. "Are you not happy?"

"In this moment...I'm unbelievably happy." She brushes some stray strands of hair from my face. "You make me happier than I've ever been..."

"But?"

"But nothing." Arizona shrugs. "Just something you said last week when we were at my place."

"What did I say?"

"How you'd had plans with Ali." Arizona sinks further down into the couch, her arms wrapping around me. "You know, what you guys had planned for the future…"

"We had a lot of plans, Arizona." I give her a knowing look. "You'll have to be more specific."

"Eliza..." She clears her throat. "What do you see in your future?" She asks. "In this moment...what do you see?"

"I see you..." I smile fully. "I see us, doing exactly this." I rest up, pressing a kiss to Arizona's lips. "Holding one another. Relaxed. Just...in love."

"Okay." She nods. "Then that is our future."

"You're being weird." I furrow my brow. "What's going on?"

Arizona doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who would sit with her thoughts, never letting me in on them. She doesn't seem like the kind of person who just settles for what's on offer. If she has something she wants to discuss, I'd rather she just came right out and said it. I mean, she's talking about the plans I had with Ali. That alone is weird.

"Just relax, Eliza. That's the reason we're here."

"Sure, yeah." Settling down and relaxing against my girlfriend, my mind begins to wander. I don't know what's going on with Arizona, but she's driving me insane.

* * *

"How was dinner?" Arizona rounds the kitchen island, stepping up behind me.

"Great." I glance back over my shoulder, she's watching me. "You enjoy it?"

"I did." She sips her wine, resting back against the counter. "You were a little quiet."

"Sorry." I smile. "Just enjoying being here with you."

"At least I'm doing something right, huh?" Refilling her wine glass, I finish loading the dishwasher and turn around to face her. "Anything you wanna do this evening?"

"Actually, yes." I glance out the window, rain pelting the glass panes. "Since the weather ain't great, I figured we could talk."

"About what?" She looks at me with confusion. "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all." I try to reassure her, my body relaxing and my voice soft. "Just thought it would be good to be on the same page. You know, after what you said earlier?"

"Eliza." She sets her glass down, approaching me. "We don't have to do this. I'm happy. You're happy. Let's just keep it that way, yeah?"

"Sure." I nod. "But I still want to talk to you."

"Right, okay." Arizona sighs, turning around and walking away from me. "You coming back over here to join me?" She flops down on the couch, relaxing back under the blanket.

"Too right I am." I agree, taking my own glass of red wine from the counter.

"Come here." Opening her arms out, Arizona motions for me to come closer. "I don't want you to worry about anything we said earlier, Eliza. I promise...we're good."

"You have plans, don't you?" I give her a sad smile. "Things you're hoping for in your future..."

"Honestly, I thought I'd be stuck with Suzanna for the rest of my life, so what I have now...I'm more than happy with."

"That may be true, but I know something is on your mind." I take her hand, squeezing it. "Talk to me, Arizona. Tell me what you're thinking..."

"You said you and Ali aren't together anymore so your future doesn't matter."

"O...kay." I listen intently.

"And I know this is stupid, and I'd never be lucky enough to find someone who wanted the absolute world with me...but I guess for just a split second, I imagined it."

"Imagined what?"

"God..." She breathes out, clearly nervous. "Just...this can't come between us and I'm more than happy with what I have with you, Eliza."

"Arizona..." I stare her down.

"I mean, it's way too soon to even think what I'm thinking." She laughs. "And honestly, I'm way too old for half the things I want in life..."

"Huh?" I furrow my brow.

"We've been together for like what? A couple of weeks." She snorts. "Even that turned to shit most of the time..."

"Arizona, stop rambling." I press a kiss to the back of her hand.

"Kids." She blurts out. "You said now that Ali and you aren't together, it didn't matter anymore."

"O-Oh." My eyes widen. "Right, yeah." My hand slips from Arizona's as she pulls her own away. "Arizona."

"No." She holds up her hand. "You asked and now I've told you. So now, we forget about it and move forward."

"It's not really as simple as that though, is it?"

"Why not?" She sits forward, running her fingers through her hair. "Why can't it be as simple as forgetting about it and living our lives."

"Because you've just told me that you see kids in your future." I give her a sad smile. "Something I can't provide..."

"You don't know that." She smiles sweetly. "But as you said...it doesn't matter."

"I looked into it." I sigh. "I know I told you I didn't, but I did."

"Looked into what?" Arizona faces me fully.

"Kids." I clear my throat. "I hoped everything would work out okay, but I guess my luck ran out at that part." Shrugging, I can feel tears pricking my eyes. "Guess some things just aren't meant to be..."

"I'm so sorry, Eliza." Arizona grips my hand.

"It's okay." I give my girlfriend a weak smile. "I resigned myself to the fact that I'd be childless a long time ago." It breaks my heart knowing I'll never have what I always wanted, but I'm alive. Doesn't that count for something? "I'm not sure I'm completely over the fact that I have someone like you in my life yet..."

"I wish things could've been different for you." Arizona's voice breaks."You deserve everything you've ever wanted."

"I'm no different to anyone else in this world." I appreciate her words, but there are millions of women out there in the same position as me. I'm not the first and I won't be the last. "I'm just grateful to be alive..."

"Yeah, I'm grateful, too." Arizona presses a kiss to my lips. "So grateful."

"I'm sorry you can't have that future with me, Arizona." I pull back, a tear slipping down my face. "If I could have that with you, I would."

"Yeah?" Her smile widens, our foreheads connecting. "You'd want that with me?"

"I'd be a fool to not want that with you," I admit. "You'd be an amazing mom."

"Oh god." Her voice trembles.

"Hey..." My nose brushes hers. "Whatever happens, I'd never make you stay if you had that opportunity with someone else..."

"I could." She whispers, her eyes flickering closed. "Down the line...I could."

"I know you could." My heart sinks into my stomach. "And I'd never keep you from that."

"I mean, I could...for us." Arizona's eyes open, focusing on mine. "If you wanted that with me one day, I could do it."

"You mean..." I furrow my brow, pulling back. "You'd carry?"

"If that's what you wanted..."

"You'd do that for me?" Fresh tears fall.

"I'm pretty sure I'd do just about anything for you, Eliza." She cups my face.

"Wow..." I breathe out. "I just thought it would never happen. Ali couldn't carry and then I discovered I couldn't...it didn't occur to me that you could do it."

"Just so we're clear..." Arizona studies my eyes. "I'm carrying for us, not for you and Ali."

"Hey...I love you." I say with certainty. "I just meant that I never thought it could happen."

"I know." Arizona pulls me into her lap and I straddle her legs. "I'm just joking..."

"You're something else, you know that?"

"I want us to be happy, Eliza." Her thumb trails my cheek. "I know we're a long way off, but it's good to be on the same page in terms of what we want."

"Yeah, it is." Something inside of me has changed. A weight I didn't know I'd been carrying has lifted and I feel lighter than I have in two years. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Her soft hands settling on my thighs, Arizona stares at me. "Being here with you, alone, god...it's more than I ever thought I'd have. You make me so happy that it's ridiculous." Gripping me by the back of the neck, she pulls me down against her and crushes her lips into my own. "You mean the world to me...and I wouldn't want to ever be here with anybody else."

"Thank you for noticing me..." I whisper against her mouth. "In that bar."

"I couldn't take my eyes off you." Her hand slips up my tee. "All I wanted was to know you."

"Yeah?"

"God, yes." She smiles. "You just seemed totally different to the rest. How you looked at me. How you paid attention to my every move. I knew you were the one I was supposed to know."

"Can we stay like this forever?" I ask, my body pressing against Arizona's. "Just...like this."

"Sounds perfect." My tee disappears from my body. " _You_ are perfect. Every inch of you..."

"You make me feel how I used to," I admit. "You make me feel normal."

"You're beautiful." She takes my bottom lip between her teeth, her hands trailing up my stomach and grazing the scars I've come to embrace in Arizona's presence. "You. God, you're so fucking gorgeous." Her hands slip around my back as she pulls me in close. "Gorgeous and mine."

"I am." I agree, my smile wider than its ever been. "Fuck, I'm _so_ yours."

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	15. Chapter 15

**You & I**

* * *

Chapter Fifteen

* * *

ARIZONA'S POV

* * *

Waking, covered in a cool sweat, I place my hand over my forehead, trying to breathe through the tears that have fallen during my sleep. I don't know what just happened during my dream, or I do, but I didn't like it. I didn't like that feeling at all. Glancing to my right, Eliza is sleeping soundly beside me, but my heart is racing. My mind, in overdrive. _God, I feel sick._

Quietly slipping from beneath the sweat-soaked sheet covering my body, I pull a tee over my head and leave the bedroom we've been sharing for the last two nights. Being back at my parent's place has been wonderful, and Eliza has loved it too. I'm not sure I've ever felt so relaxed around her but it seems things are beginning to fall into place. How, I do not know, but being alone with her and out of the city has been everything I hoped it would be. Nobody around to disturb us. No thoughts of divorces or ex-wives. Just us. Smiling and in love.

That though, that dream just then…it's left me feeling uneasy. It's left my heart pounding and my head spinning. How can a dream feel so real? How can something that hasn't happened, make you feel like your world is ending? I'm not sure I've ever dreamed so vividly as I have tonight, but I never want it to happen again. If it makes me feel like this, then no, I never want to dream again for as long as I live.

Approaching the kitchen, I grab myself a glass of water and head for the doors that lead to the huge yard. I have no intentions of going out there, but the view is nice. Sure, it may be nothing but darkness ahead of me, but I know what lies beneath that darkness. Happiness. Color. A world of love. When the sun rises, that darkness will disappear and I'll have another day with Eliza.

"Where did you go?" A sleepy voice whispers behind me.

"Hey, I'm sorry." I turn around to find my girlfriend. "I'll be right there. I needed some water."

"You've been talking in your sleep for the last couple hours…"

"O-Oh." I furrow my brow. "Did you want me to grab a blanket and take the couch?"

"No." Eliza approaches me, her arms wrapping around me. "Please, come back to bed. It's 3 am."

"I'm sorry." I press a kiss to Eliza's head. "Come on." Guiding her back towards the bedroom, my girlfriend climbs back into bed and sighs as she settles down, her eyes flickering closed. "I just need to use the bathroom."

"Mm." Is all I receive from her.

Closing the bathroom door, I take a seat on the edge of the tub and rub my forehead. My dream is playing on my mind but it's not something I believe I could, or should, discuss with Eliza. Its stupid really, but it happened. It happened and now I feel like I shouldn't sleep again for fear of it resuming.

Giving myself another moment to calm my thoughts, I stand and release a deep sigh. Eliza will be sleeping by now so I'm thankful I won't have to get into any sort of conversation with her. It just isn't needed, and it's just me being stupid. Rolling my eyes, I pull the bathroom door open and sneak out. The light illuminating Eliza's face, I find green eyes staring back at me.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"Of course." I wave off her concern. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You look a little pale." Eliza sits up on her elbows. "Are you unwell?"

"Eliza, I'm fine." I give her my best smile. "Sleep. Please."

"I would but I don't like an empty bed." Her tone changes. "You've turned me into a needy bitch."

"Mm, my bad." I climb into bed with her and wrap my arms around her tight. "I could snuggle with you forever."

"Would you?" Eliza's eyes find mine.

"Huh?"

"Would you snuggle with me forever?"

"You know I would." I press a kiss to her nose. "No doubt about it."

"You were dreaming…" Eliza's thumb trails my bottom lip. "Right?"

"I-I don't know." I stutter.

"Yes, you do." She gives me a knowing look. "Why are you not being honest with me?"

"Eliza…" I give her a soft smile. "It's 3 am. We should really sleep. You wanted to head into town tomorrow and I don't want anything getting in the way of that."

"It won't." She smiles. "But something isn't right. I can see it in your eyes."

"I'm good. Great, even."

"You're also a terrible liar." My girlfriend rolls her eyes. "Please, don't hide things from me."

"I just had a bad dream, is all," I say, nonchalantly. "Nothing for either of us to worry about."

"Then why _are_ you worrying?" She studies my face. "If it was nothing, why do you look like someone just came in here and told you you'd lost someone close to you?"

"D-Don't." My heart sinks. "Please, don't even joke about that."

"I'm not."

"Eliza, please…" My eyes close as she shifts closer to me.

"Tell me what happened…"I can hear the pleading in her voice but it's nothing for her to worry about. I know she won't let this lie, but I really wish she would. I wish she would just sleep. "You know I won't close my eyes until you do." Her hand settles on my hip beneath my tee.

"It was you." I breathe out. "You were sick."

"Sick?" Eliza arches one of her eyebrows. "And did you look after me?"

"Of course, I did," I say. "Y-You were really sick."

"Ah." She nods slowly. "The old _cancer death_ dream."

"Eliza."

"No, it's okay." She smiles. "I had them. Ali had them. You're now having them."

I appreciate that she's trying to make me feel better, but it's going to take a hell of a lot more than what she's just said. How the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight when I have an image of the woman I love, lying in a hospital bed, dying?

"Hey…" She curls her fingers under my chin and tilts my head up. "I'm okay, Arizona. I'm healthy."

"I know you are." A tear slips to the silk pillow beneath my head. "I just…it scared me."

"Of course, it did." She gives me a sad smile. "I'd be worried if it didn't."

"You know I'd always look after you, right?" I cup her face. "You know I'd never leave your side for a single moment?"

"I know." Eliza leans in, pressing a kiss to my lips. "I know you'd be there for me."

"But you're okay." My eyes close as I release a deep breath. "It was just a dream and it meant nothing."

"It was just a dream and it meant nothing," Eliza repeats my words. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Wrapping my girlfriend up in my arms, I hold her as close as I possibly can. My fear is that if I don't, I'll lose her. I'll lose her and I won't ever know what to do with my life again.

* * *

Wrapped up in my favorite childhood blanket, the wind whips around me and sends a shiver through my body. Down my spine. Piercing my skin, it feels good. It feels like I have a better grip on reality this morning. I don't want last night to put a downer on anything we do today, but I also know Eliza is going to want to discuss it more. At least, I'm assuming she will.

"Coffee?" She calls from the kitchen.

"Please." I glance over my shoulder to find her watching me. "You joining me?"

"I'd love to." She gives me a full smile before disappearing.

Relaxing back into my seat, I release a slight sigh and close my eyes. How could someone so beautiful and perfect go through what Eliza did? How could she do it all alone, or at all for that matter? If it was me, I'm not sure I'd be strong enough. If I received that kind of news when I'd been planning my future, I think I may have given up.

That's the difference between Eliza and I, I guess. She's strong. She knows exactly what she wants. She's positive and full of motivation. Something I absolutely admire about her. She doesn't sit around miserable, wondering what could've been…she grabs life and goes with each day. As it comes, she faces it.

"Sweetened it a little more for you…"

"Why?"

"Figured you'd need it." Eliza shrugs as she hands me a coffee cup. "You doing okay?"

"Great." I give her a thankful smile as I lace my fingers around my cup. "Sorry I woke you last night."

"It's okay." She climbs into the spot beside me, covering her legs with the blanket draped over my own. "Mm, you're warm and snuggly."

"Thanks…"

"So?" She clears her throat.

"So?"

"Last night." She focuses fully on my face. "You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really." I drop my gaze. "I don't even want to think about it so talking won't help."

"We should, though." Eliza's hand settles on my knee. "If you don't, it will be forever on your mind."

"It was just a dream, Eliza."

"But it clearly got to you." She smiles. "And I wouldn't expect anything less."

"I guess in the back of my mind, I worry." I lift my head and focus on the expanse of the field around us. "I mean, I know you don't want that, but maybe I just do."

"I worry, too." She takes my hand and squeezes. "And I know I'll always worry."

"Yeah?"

"Every day at some point." She nods. "I know it could come back. I know it could one day kill me…but there is not a single thing I can do about it."

"I couldn't ever lose you." My voice breaks.

"And that's hopefully never going to happen." She lifts my hand, pressing a kiss to my skin. "We live each day…that's all we can do."

"Just…" My eyes close. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I have regular check-ups. Nothing has ever come back with any concern, okay?"

"Okay." I nod, a slight relief washing over me. "You're amazing, you know…"

"No, I just try to be positive." Eliza smiles. "What's the use in worrying every minute of the day?"

"I know." I pull my girlfriend in closer, my arm wrapping around her shoulder. "Still…I think you're amazing."

"So are you." Her head settles on my chest. "You make me feel like I've never been through it…"

"But you have and I'm so proud of how you handled it." I fix the blanket around us better and make myself comfortable. "I'm so thankful you fought."

"At times, I didn't want to," Eliza admits. "Some days, I felt so ill that I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I just wanted it all to end."

"God, I wish I'd been there for you." I rest my head against Eliza's and close my eyes. "I'd have fought every step of the way with you."

"I know you would." She nods slightly. "I knew from the moment we kissed that you could've been the one to see me through it."

"If I could go back, I'd be there," I say. "Just…being whatever you needed."

"I love you," Eliza whispers, her hand settling on my stomach beneath my sweater. "I love you and I know that I've got you, Arizona."

"I'm not sure you realize just how important you are to me…"

"I do." Her fingertips caress my skin. "I can feel it. I've never felt anything quite like it in my life."

"No?" I glance down to find Eliza looking up at me. "Never?"

"Never." She smiles. "But I'm happy about that. It means that this…what we have…is perfect to me. That _you_ are perfect to me."

"Can you believe we discussed kids the other night?" I laugh. "I mean, can you?"

"Honestly, I can."

"What? Really?"

"Well, yeah." She shrugs. "As you said, it's too soon…but to know that we both want that means neither of us has to worry about it without saying it out loud. You know?"

"Yeah." I agree, an overwhelming sense of feeling complete washing over me. "I know exactly what you mean."

"Suzanna never wanted kids?"

"No, I don't think so." I disagree. "She never spoke about it but that didn't bother me. Anyone who knows Suzanna knows that she doesn't have a maternal bone in her body." We both laugh. "Can you imagine? Her…with a child? She's the most self-centered bitch on this earth."

"Yeah, she does love the sound of her own voice." Eliza rolls her eyes. "And if it's not about her, she couldn't care any less."

"Exactly." I sigh. "I couldn't ever bring a child into the world knowing it would have a mother like Suzanna."

"But me?"

"God, you'd make my freaking life complete knowing my kid was yours…"

"You just know all the right things to say." Eliza sits up and takes my coffee cup from my hand. "All the time."

"Mm…" I narrow my eyes. "And I'm assuming you like hearing the right thing, huh?" She straddles my legs and wraps her arms around my neck.

"Whatever gave you that impression?" Eliza smirks into a kiss. "Mm?"

"N-Nothing." I pull back, breathless. "But when you kiss me like that…nothing makes sense."

"Nothing has made sense in my life since the day I met you, Arizona." Eliza's forehead presses against mine. "And I'm not sure anything will ever make sense again."

"Maybe that's the way to live?"

"You think?" She furrows her brow.

"Well, living in our own bubble wouldn't be the worst idea in the world." I smile. "Especially here…in this home."

"It's gorgeous." She whispers against my lips. "And so is it's owner." Tugging my bottom lip between her teeth, my girlfriend gains a moan from me. "We really should leave soon to get into town."

"Mm, I know." I whimper. "Real soon."

"Like, very soon." Eliza climbs off me, tugging my hand and pulling me up to my feet. "Don't you think?"

"I-I, uh…" This woman sends me insane with want. I can't think straight when she uses that sexy voice but I suspect that's the reaction she was aiming for. "Y-Yeah…"

"Shame." She pulls me closer and our bodies connect. "Because I have something else I need to do before we even think about getting dressed and leaving…"

"W-We're already dressed." I stutter.

"But in the next thirty seconds…" Her tongue trails my neck, reaching my ear. "…we won't be."

 _Holy shit…_

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


	16. Chapter 16

**You & I**

* * *

Sixteen

* * *

ELIZA'S POV

* * *

Arizona seems better after her dream last night. I can understand why she struggled to sleep after it, but I need her to know that I'm okay. The dreams...they crippled me at one time. That uncertainty as I lay awake after receiving the all clear, worried that they'd missed something, was at times, too much to handle. Some days, I resembled a zombie. When I should've been celebrating and getting back to my normal, I was worn out. I was crumbling, locked away at home.

That was one of the worst times of my life, so I need Arizona to believe that I'm okay. That I plan to remain okay. Of course, words are not enough at times, but that's all I can give her. The only reassurance I have...is my words. I know she wouldn't and doesn't expect me to be there reassuring her, but I have to do it for my own sanity. If I suspect she's holding it all in, it'll be more hurtful to the both of us.

"Hey, so I'm making dinner tonight." Arizona startles me, creeping up behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist. "Anything you want in particular?"

"Surprise me." I glance over my shoulder. "I'm sure anything will be good."

"Mm, you know what looks really good to me?" Her breath tickles my ear, sending a shiver down my spine. "You. Always."

"Real smooth." I laugh. "But if you don't remove yourself from this kitchen, we will never get anything done today."

"Mm, I could do you..."

"Classy." We both laugh, Arizona's face suddenly turning more serious. "What?"

"Nothing." She furrows her brow. "Just wanted to look at you."

"You're okay, though?"

"I am." Arizona smiles softly. "I'm sorry I worried you yesterday."

"You didn't." I take her hand. "But I need you to be okay. If you have things on your mind, I need you to tell me. The dreams won't stop otherwise..."

"How bad were they for you?"

"Bad," I state. "Really bad."

"How did you stop them?" Arizona asks. "I just...I've had more than one."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I pull her in close. "Don't hold it in..."

"This isn't your problem. My dreams are _my_ dreams, Eliza."

"But you are the woman I love and I don't want you upsetting yourself over something that isn't likely to happen."

"I-I know." She drops her gaze. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." I lift her head, curling my fingers. "Don't ever apologize for caring and being worried." My lips press against hers. "God, I love you."

"I love you, too." Arizona's hand settles on the side of my face, her thumb caressing my cheek. "And I would spend my life lay awake, worrying about you, if it meant that you would be okay…"

"I feel good." My smile widens. "I feel better than I have in as long as I can remember, Arizona. You know why that is?"

"N-No." Her forehead creases.

"Because of you." I give my girlfriend a knowing look. "Because I have you by my side, loving me and making me feel like the only woman in the world."

"You _are_ the only woman in the world." Arizona pulls me flush against her. "In my world, at least."

"I know." I agree. "And I always will be…so, stop worrying and move your hot ass."

"To where?" She eyes me, a smirk curling on those soft pink lips. Lips I could spend my entire life kissing. "Bed?"

"Nice try, Robbins." My hand dips beneath her shirt, my fingertips teasing her skin. "We have plans."

"Fine." My girlfriend groans. "Just…Ugh!"

"Huh? Excuse me?"

"I'm standing in a very quiet house with the hottest woman on the planet…and there is nothing I can do about it." Arizona sighs, backing up and creating a small space between us. "That sucks."

"Oh, no." I hold up my hand, shaking my head. "There is plenty you can do about it…tonight."

"Is that right?" Arizona sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, those cobalt eyes darkening with every breath she takes. "Mm, I can hardly wait."

"Then we should get to it." I gently push her through the kitchen and towards the front door. "You know…" My arms wrap around her waist from behind. "…being here, alone and naked with you, it's all I could ever want."

"Y-Yeah?" Arizona asks, her voice low.

"Mm, so don't _ever_ think differently."

* * *

"God, that food was too good." I push my plate away and slump back into my seat.

"Glad you enjoyed it." Arizona simply smiles as she sips on her glass of wine.

Silence falling between us, I glance around her parent's home and smile. This place really is the very definition of home. Comfort. Happy times. This home is the kind of home I always imagined myself growing old in. I know that's not likely to ever happen but to have Arizona sitting across the table from me while I'm having these thoughts, it's mind-blowing. Everything about my life recently has been more than I can comprehend.

"You're thinking…"

"Sorry." I glance back at my girlfriend. "Just admiring this place. It's beautiful."

"Mm, not as beautiful as you." Arizona sits forward, planting her elbows on the table and resting her head in her hands. "Something about you leaves me completely breathless."

"You really have a way with words." I sigh, taking in my girlfriend's remarkable beauty. "And you know exactly when to say things like that."

"The truth." She slips her hand across the table. "Everything I've ever told you is the truth, Eliza."

"I know." I nod, a blush creeping up my neck, our fingers entwining.

"You think I should keep this place?"

"Here?" I raise an eyebrow. "You're thinking of selling your parents house?"

"Six months ago, yes." Arizona shrugs. "I wanted it to go to someone who could build a world of memories here. Me, I had nothing close to that in my life. I was just trying to get through each day with Suzanna."

"And now?"

"Now…" Arizona stands, holding out her hand and pulling me up to my feet. "Now I never want to leave this place…while you're here."

"I think you'd be crazy to give it up." My eyes never leave my girlfriends. "This…it just makes me feel at ease. I don't even live here, and I feel comfortable here. Like I belong." _Careful, she'll think you're wanting to stay._ "It would be nice to escape here when possible. That's all I'm saying."

"I think you would benefit here." Arizona wraps her arms around my waist. "Being in the city can't be good for our health. Yours more so than mine."

"I don't follow…"

"I want you to always be safe and healthy, Eliza." Soft pink lips ghost over my own. "And if I can help to keep you healthy, we should move out of the city…to here."

"You're not serious." I laugh. "I mean, why would you want to?"

"Y-You don't?" Arizona pulls back, studying my face. "Wow, I got that completely wrong, I'm sorry."

"N-No." I grip her waist. "I just…you want to move out of the city and live here? With me?"

"I'd move to outer fucking space if that was what you wanted."

"Wow, well…" I take a deep breath. "You don't think it's too soon?"

"Possibly." She shrugs. "Maybe."

"And you're not concerned about that?" I narrow my eyes.

"I'm not concerned about _anything_ I may have with you, Eliza." Arizona guides me away from the oak dining table and through the open space. "If you want to be here with me, I'll make it happen. In a heartbeat."

"This isn't me." My voice breaks as we approach the huge window. Arizona's arms are wrapped around my waist from behind and everything feels unbelievably perfect. Too perfect, some may say. I've never been the kind of person who worries about my future, but with Arizona, I do. I do because the thought of one day losing her terrifies me more than anything else I've been through. "None of this is me…"

"Focus your eyes on the darkness." Her hand settles against my stomach. "That, out there, is as peaceful as it gets."

"This, in here, is as peaceful as it gets." I counter. "But I see where you're going with this."

"I always wanted this life," Arizona admits. "Just here…with the woman I love. No interruptions. No worries. I just wanted to live my life here, in love."

"Sounds like the perfect life." I breathe out. "And it's kinda tempting."

"But?" Arizona's lips work the skin of my neck. "You don't want this life with me?"

"More than you could ever begin to imagine…" A whimper slips from my mouth. "It's you I worry about. Whether you really want a life here with me."

"Damn right I do." Arizona's hand slips lower, my reflection staring back at me in the window. "And if we want this life, we can have it. Right now. Tomorrow. A year from now. Whenever you want it, Eliza…you just say the word and I'll give it to you."

"I love you." My breath catches as Arizona's smooth hand slides past the waistband of my sweatpants. "O-Oh." My back arching when she cups my sex.

"I love you, and I want us to move our life here." She whispers against my ear. "No exes. No fighting. No divorces. Just you and I, Eliza."

"Y-Yes." My eyes close and I bite down hard on my bottom lip. Arizona's hands have a magical way of working my body perfectly, but I'm not complaining. How could I? She has me in this position, holding me, but making me throb at the same time. It's like going from one extreme to the other. "Whatever you want, Arizona."

"I want you to be happy." She smiles against my neck, her hand dipping lower and gathering my arousal. "Mm, and I believe you're more than happy right now."

"Mmhmm…" My head falls back on her shoulder. "Hard not to be when I'm alone with you."

"You feel so good beneath my fingers." Arizona grinds against my ass, forcing me forward, my hands now pressed against the window. "If only you knew."

"Tell me…" My head falls between my shoulders. "Fuck, I need you to tell me."

"You feel…" Arizona moans. "…fuck, you feel like heaven." Her pace increasing, she presses her fingertips against my clit that little bit harder. Giving me exactly what I want. "And in this moment, I could come just watching you."

"Oh, god." My eyes close and my mouth falls open.

"But I need more." She suddenly slips my sweats from my legs, dragging them away from my body. "Perfect." She drops to her knees. "Everything you are is so fucking perfect."

"T-Touch me."

"Gladly." Arizona purrs, sending my body into overdrive.

Running her hands up the backs of my legs, my thighs, and spreading them, I can feel my body already falling over the edge. It doesn't take much when Arizona touches me, but this? This is way sooner than I would've liked. I know this evening is going to continue long into the night, but still…I want to savor every minute I spend with her. Every breath. Every touch. I want to appreciate every second I have her in my life, and I don't ever want to miss a single moment.

"This is all for me?" Arizona trails her fingers through my slick folds before bringing them up to her mouth and sucking gently. "Mm…"

"Shit." My stomach tightens at the mere sound of her. "Y-You…oh, god."

"What's that?" She presses a kiss to the inside of my thigh, suddenly plunging two fingers deep inside of me.

"Fuck!"

"Y-Yes." My right hand desperately grabs at the glass in front of me, needing something to keep me grounded. Something that is going to hold me together. "H-Harder." Bending more at the hip, Arizona moans in appreciation and does exactly what I ask. She gives it to me harder and deeper than ever before. "O-Oh!" My hand clenching into a fist, my knees weaken and tremble, unable to hold the weight of my body in this moment. "Arizona…"

"Let go, Eliza." Her free hand weaves between my legs, the tips of her fingers pressing against my swollen clit. "Come for me…"

Relaxing my body, my orgasm courses through me at the speed of light. Every nerve, ignited. Every sensation, heightened. Nothing and nobody in this world has ever got this reaction from me, but Arizona does it so damn well. She does it…and then some.

"You." She presses a kiss to my lower back as she stands. "You are everything and more."

"Whoa." Unsteady as I attempt to stand upright, my girlfriend catches me in her arms and holds me close. "T-That…"

"How about we take this to the bedroom?" She husks, knowing exactly what she is doing to me. "Because quite frankly, I cannot get enough of you… _and_ I'm not nearly finished with you."

"You really want this?" I ask, turning in her arms and looking her straight in the eye. "Here? Us?"

"More than anything." She whispers against my mouth.

"Yes." I smile, feeling a huge weight lift from my shoulders. A weight I didn't know I was carrying. "Sharing a life here with you…just _yes_."

"Bedroom, now!"

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, guys. Reviews are welcome and appreciated as always.**


End file.
